


Operation: C.H.O.S.E.N.O.N.E.

by kierandell1409



Category: Codename: Kids Next Door
Genre: Galactic Kids Next Door, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-03-27 10:01:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13878558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kierandell1409/pseuds/kierandell1409
Summary: Set post series. Nigel Uno has joined the Galactic Kids Next Door, who have deemed his home planet to be too infested with adults to be safe for kids, and the threat must be contained. The decision is Nigel's to make.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Well, time for another new fanfic. This time, it’s for Kids Next Door, one of the best shows from my childhood. This fic went through so many different changes when I was planning it. The form it is now is almost an entirely new fic from what it originally was, but I think this version might work better than the original anyway. Just a heads up before you read this: you’ll want to see the “leaked” G:KND footage before you read this. I only mention it because it’s pretty crucial to the plot. Don’t worry, I’ll wait. Go ahead. This fic isn’t going anywhere. Watched it? Good, let’s get started.

**OPERATION: C.H.O.S.E.N.O.N.E.  
Chosen Human Operative Selects Either Naughty Or Nice Ending**

“So this is the Earthling Operative that was selected?” whispered Numbuh Ordinal, watching the bald child below them. “Are we sure about this?”  
“Numbuh 74.239 seems to think it’s him,” said Numbuh Negative Umpteen in response. “And you know what Numbuh Gajillion is like when Numbuh 74.239 tells him he’s sure of something.”  
Numbuh Ordinal shivered. “Don’t remind me,” he said. “Still…the Earthling hesitates. He simply needs to put his booger into the console, and the problems on his planet will be resolved. Are we sure…”  
“Shh,” hushed Numbuh Negative Umpteen, indicating the platform below them.  
Nigel Uno was giving a salute, a tear rolling down his face. “GALACTIC KIDS NEXT DOOR RULE!” he yelled, plunging his booger into the console.  
All around the room, cheering erupted from all every operative. Except for one voice, screaming for Numbuh One’s attention. “NIGEL!” Chad cried out. “Your friends…your family…do you know what you’ve done to them?”  
Numbuh One’s face betrayed no emotion, except another tear coming from under his visor. “Take him to the cells,” he ordered. “We should have decommissioned him back on Earth when we had the chance.”  
“NIGEL!” yelled Chad. “DON’T DO THIS!” Two large alien guards appeared behind him. “Nigel, please…”  
“Let’s go, teenager,” snarled one of the guards, dragging Chad down a dark corridor. “Numbuh Gajillion will want to see to your decommissioning personally. Then you can go home to your precious planet. Or what’s left of it.” The two guards laughed as they dragged Chad out of sight.  
Nigel wiped away another tear, then left the room himself. _It’s for the best_ , he thought to himself. _It’s for the best. The guys from Sector V will forgive me…won’t they?_  
He only wished he could convince himself that that was true.


	2. Attention Moonbase

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a normal day at Moonbase, when they receive an urgent transmission from an unknown source.

It had been six months since the disappearance of Numbuh 1. Many things had changed. For one thing, Numbuh 5 was now sitting in a seat previously occupied by Numbuh 362, who had decided to retire as Supreme Leader of the Kids Next Door to go back to being a regular officer. For all intents and purposes, she had traded places with Numbuh 5, since Numbuh 362 now led Sector V.  
Numbuh 5 liked the position, even if it kept her away from her friends most of the time. She had the whole of the Kids Next Door at her fingertips, all their technology, all their information on adults, she could even keep tabs on every operative at any given time, though she didn’t abuse this power.  
Today was starting off like any other when Numbuh 86 came running into the Command Centre. “Numbuh 5,” she yelled. “We’re picking up a distress signal.”  
“Well, answer it,” said Numbuh 5. “If we’re being contacted by some helpless kid, we need to do our best to help them, right?”  
“That’s the thing,” said Numbuh 86. “The distress call is coming from deep space, where no operative we know of is known to be.”  
“That’s imposs…” started Numbuh 5, then stopped. Could it be… Abigail dared to hope it might be him. “Answer it,” she said. “The tracking system’s probably just playing up. We’ll ask them where they are and be right there.”  
“A’right ma’am,” said Numbuh 86, pressing a button on the control console to answer the call.  
An image appeared a large screen at the front of the Command Centre, showing what appeared to be a pot plant turned upside down with a pair of beady white eyes. “Hello? Hello?” came a distorted voice. “Kids Next Door? This is Numbuh Vine.”  
“Numbuh who?” asked Numbuh 5.  
“Numbuh Vine,” said the voice. “Listen, there’s not much time. There’s a dangerous laser coming right for your planet, you need to do something to block it right now.”  
“Dangerous laser? Who is this?” asked Numbuh 5. “Numbuh 86, run a check on this Numbuh Vine. I’ve never heard of no Numbuh Vine before.”  
“THERE’S NO TIME!” yelled Numbuh Vine. “You need to do something now, or else horrible things are going to happen to your planet.”  
Numbuh 5 thought about what this ‘operative’ was saying. “Numbuh 71.562,” called Numbuh 5. “Is there anything on our radars?”  
“Not that I can see,” said Numbuh 71.562. “Wait…what’s that?”  
“Intercept it,” ordered Numbuh 5. Numbuh 71.562 immediately hit a button that launched the Kids Next Door M.I.R.R.O.R. (Massive Image Reflector Reflects Offensive Rays). “Come on, come on,” muttered Numbuh 5 to herself.  
“Ten seconds until impact,” said Numbuh 71.562. “Nine…eight…” The kids in the Command Centre watched nervously as the seconds ticked down. “The M.IR.R.O.R.’s in place…three seconds…two…one…laser deflected.” The kids all let out a collective sigh of relief.  
“That was too close,” said Numbuh Vine. “Okay, I’ve gotta go. We’ll be in touch.”  
“Wait. Who are…” started Numbuh 5, but the feed went dead. “Numbuh 86, any luck finding this Numbuh Vine?”  
“No ma’am,” said Numbuh 86. “There’s never been a Numbuh Vine, not even among the deactivated operatives. But somehow, they knew what frequency to hail us on.”  
“That’s impossible,” said Numbuh 71.562. “Only members of the Kids Next Door know that frequency.”  
“What should we do Numbuh 5?” asked Numbuh 86. She waited a moment for an answer, before realised Numbuh 5 seemed distracted. “Err, Numbuh 5?”  
“Huh? Oh, right,” said Numbuh 5. “Numbuh 71.562, do you think you and your science friends could run a trace on that transmission?”  
“Puh-lease,” said Numbuh 71.562. “Give me ten minutes and some pizza, I’ll know what the last candy they ate was.”  
“Excellent,” said Numbuh 5. “Numbuh 86, have all operatives on High Alert. Whoever or whatever that was, it’ll probably attack again, likely sooner rather than later. I want everyone ready for it.”  
“Okay,” said Numbuh 86. “But what are you gonna do?”  
“There are some people I need to talk to,” said Numbuh 5. “They’ll be interested in this.”  
“Who are…” started Numbuh 86, but Numbuh 5 had already left.

“Nigel Uno, what have you done?” Numbuh 5 asked to herself. She wasn’t sure what had just happened, but she was sure her former sector leader had something to do with it. It had to be. The beam had come from somewhere in deep space, where no human operative had ever been. No operative, except Numbuh 1.  
Numbuh 5 entered her private chambers, and immediately started dialling for the only group who knew the truth about Numbuh 1’s disappearance. “Calling Sector V. Come in Sector V,” said Numbuh 5.  
“Numbuh 362 here,” said Numbuh 362. “Hey Numbuh 5, how are you finding life as the Supreme Leader?”  
“Oh, you know, pretty sweet,” said Numbuh 5. “Except when we’re getting fired at by lasers from deep space.”  
“Deep space?” asked Numbuh 362. “What are you…?” Realisation dawned on her quickly. “Nigel.”  
“My thoughts exactly,” said Numbuh 5, then jumped into an explanation of what had just happened.  
“The laser was about to hit us?” asked Numbuh 362. “But…Nigel would never do that. Would he?”  
“Before he left, I would have agreed with you,” said Numbuh 5. “But who knows what those Galactic Kids Next Door are capable of.”  
“You have a point,” said Numbuh 362. “I’ll tell the others. Numbuh 2 might even have some way of finding Nigel before disaster strikes.”  
“Let’s hope so,” said Numbuh 5. “Contact me when you know anything.”  
“Only if you do the same,” said Numbuh 362, and the feed cut out. Numbuh 5 knew she was in charge and could punish Numbuh 362 for giving her an order and cutting the feed before her, but Numbuh 5 could never bring herself to get mad at the former Supreme Leader. Plus, she noticed something in what Numbuh 362 said. It was subtle, but Numbuh 5 had definitely heard it, and wasn’t going to hold it against Numbuh 362. Numbuh 5 left her chambers and wet back to the Command Centre, in case there had been any updates in the situation.

“In you go,” said one of the guards, throwing Chad into a cell. “Numbuh Gajillion will be with you in a few minutes.” The two guards laughed as they slammed the cell door and left.  
“LET ME OUT!” yelled Chad, banging on the bars. “When I get out of here, I’ll…”  
“You’ll what?” asked a voice from a cell across the hall from him.  
“Who said that?” asked Chad, trying to see who had spoken. “I know your voice. Who are you?”  
“That would be me,” said the voice, stepping out of the shadows to reveal herself.  
“Cree?” asked Chad. “Wait, when did you get caught?”  
“It was that darn Maurice,” said Cree. “He was pretending to be on our side, even started dating me, then it turned out he never got decommissioned and was on a mission to capture me.”  
“But, why’d they send you here?” asked Chad. “Surely the Earth Kids Next Door would want to deal with you.”  
“Numbuh 362 said that she’d personally see to my decommissioning,” said Cree. “But that nerdy one, Numbuh 74 point something, he convinced her I was too dangerous to risk their Supreme Leader against, so he took her place and had me sent here. Guess I’m an even bigger threat than I thought.”  
“He wasn’t wrong. You were notoriously difficult to catch,” said Chad. “But listen, we have to work together to get out of here. We may be the only ones who can save Nigel.”  
“Save Numbuh 1? Why would I want to do that?” demanded Cree. “That little punk and his friends have been messing with the teen’s plans. Him and my sister have been such a pain in my…”  
“Cree,” said Chad in a tone that made it clear this wasn’t up for discussion. “They’re going to decommission us, then take us back to Earth, where we can’t possibly survive now.”  
“And why is that?” asked Cree. Chad lowered his voice, and explained about the laser Numbuh 1 had just fired at Earth, and what affect it would have. “No way,” gasped Cree. “But that means…”  
“I know,” said Chad. “We might have some time before the effects become permanent, but we have to act now, and we’ll need all the help we can get. And that means…”  
“Numbuh 1,” said Cree defeatedly. “Okay, I’ll help you. But as soon as we’re out of danger, Numbuh 1 is going down.”  
“Fine, whatever,” said Chad. “Now, all we need is a plan…”  
“I think I’ve got one…” said Cree.

About ten minutes later, two guards entered the prison area. “Look alive people,” said one of the guards. “Numbuh Gajillion is on his way.”  
“Ooooooooh…” groaned Cree, lying on the floor clutching her stomach. “I don’t think I’m gonna make it that long.”  
“What’s wrong with her?” asked the other guard.  
“Who cares? She’ll be decommissioned soon enough anyway,” said the first guard.  
“Please…help…” moaned Cree. “Please…”  
“Maybe we should do something,” said the second guard, reaching for his keys.  
“What do you think you’re doing?” demanded his partner.  
“Come on man, she’s not gonna do anything,” said the guard as he opened the cell door. “She can barely sit up. Besides, Numbuh Gajillion will want her at full strength, otherwise it’ll just feel like a hollow victory.”  
“Hmph, whatever,” said the other guard. “But remember, if this comes back to bite us in the butt, I’ll be the first to say I told you so.”  
“Nothing’s gonna happen,” assured the guard in the cell, kneeling down next to Cree. “Now, tell me where it hurts.”  
“It…it hurts…in YOUR FACE!” yelled Cree, punching the guard in the face. The guard stumbled back as Cree jumped up and kicked him backwards, straight into the bars of Chad’s cell. “NOW!”  
Chad jumped out of the shadows, and grabbed the stunned guard’s keys off his belt. “I’ll be taking these,” said Chad, backing up into the cell.  
“Why you little…” started the guard, trying to reach into the cell, but Chad stayed just out of reach.  
“Cree, a little help please?” asked Chad, standing far enough back that his pursuers couldn’t get him.  
“Kinda in the middle of something here,” said Cree, currently fighting the other guard. The guard dived at Cree, but she ducked out of the way. The guard flew over her head, and landed in her open cell.  
“Guess I’ll have to do this myself then,” said Chad, running at his guard. He drew his left hand back as though to strike, but suddenly brought up his right hand, now with the stolen keys held between each finger. The guard fell backwards and landed in Cree’s old cell, which Cree immediately closed behind him.  
“Quick Chad,” called Cree, as the two guards fought to escape. Chad worked through each key until he found the right one, unlocked his cell, then quickly helped Cree lock their guards in her cell.  
“Come on, we need to get out of here,” said Chad, grabbing Cree’s hand and running out of the prison as fast as the two could run.  
One of the guards scowled at the other one. “You know, I’d hate to say I told you so…” he started.  
“Yeah, yeah, shut up,” said his partner. “We need to think of a way out of here, before…”  
“Before what?” asked a voice just outside their cell, a voice they were hoping not to hear so soon. The guards turned around hesitantly, and saw Numbuh Gajillion staring at them through the bars. “So, care to tell me why our prisoners are missing?”


	3. What Has Nigel Done?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Numbuh 5 calls a meeting, trying to decide on their next course of action after being attacked.

“Thank y’all for joining me,” said Numbuh 5, addressing a couple of the higher ranking members of the KND. “As y’all already know, something just tried to attack Earth, until we deflected it back into space. However, we have no idea what could have done it, and without a warning from this mysterious Numbuh Vine, we’d have been hit. All Sectors have been put on high alert, but now we need to figure out what to do before they attack again. Numbuh 71.562, what did you find out about them?”  
“Well, I traced the transmission as far as possible,” said Numbuh 71.562. “However, the signal goes way off into deep space. There’s no way any kid has ever been that far out.”  
“Your equipment must be faulty,” said Numbuh 86. “If no kid has ever been there, then the signal must have come from somewhere else.”  
“That’s the weird thing,” said Numbuh 71.562. “I tried seeing if I could find it being redirected from somewhere. Obviously Numbuh Vine was telling us something we weren’t supposed to know, so it stands to reason they would try to confuse the signal so they couldn’t be traced. But I couldn’t find any sign of signal tampering. They contacted us directly, possibly through an unsecure line. It looks as though they had to get the message out quickly, and didn’t bother with security measures.”  
“What are you saying?” asked Numbuh 86.  
“That something, quite possibly from deep space, wants us dead,” said Numbuh 71.562.  
“Oh, so it’s a fight they want eh?” asked Numbuh 86. “Well, just wait ‘til they get a piece of me. I say we strike back hard and fast, wiping ‘em out.”  
“Wait, we don’t even know what that ray was going to do,” said Numbuh 5 quickly. “We can’t rule out the possibility of Numbuh Vine being the evil one.”  
“Have you gone daft Numbuh 5?” demanded Nunbuh 86. “They fired at us, with no warning, and we only knew to protect ourselves because someone warned us. Why would whoever fired at us be on our side? It was probably an adult superweapon, and one of them chickened out at the last second because of how powerful it was.”  
“Yeah, I guess,” admitted Numbuh 5. “But we still need to figure out who they are, and what they’re planning.”

“Perhaps we can help?” suggested someone from the doorway. The group turned to see Sector V entering the room.  
“Hi Numbuh 5,” said Numbuh 3, running up and hugging her old teammate.  
“Abby, looking good baby,” said Numbuh 2, winking at her. Numbuh 5 shuddered in response.  
“Why are you guys here?” demanded Numbuh 86. “This is a private meeting.”  
“Relax Numbuh 86,” said Numbuh 5. “They know what’s goin’ on. Plus, 362 was Supreme Leader once. Maybe she has some insight into this that we don’t.”  
“I don’t know about that,” said Numbuh 362. “But I intend to help any way I can.”  
“Hey, as long as I get to beat the crud out of those cruddy adults, I’m good,” said Numbuh 4, punching into his hand like he was ready to go then and there.  
“Numbuh 4, we don’t even know if the adults were behind this,” said Numbuh 5.  
“Of course the adults are behind this,” said Numbuh 86. “Why are you so insistent that they’re not? Unless you know something we don’t?”  
“Err…well…” stammered Numbuh 5. “I just don’t want to rule things out, as unlikely as…” Before she could continue, Numbuh 362 placed a hand on her shoulder.  
“Numbuh 5, you might want to tell them,” said Numbuh 362. “If it’s them, they need to know what we’re up against.”  
“If it’s who? What are you talking about?” demanded Numbuh 86. “You know who’s attacking us?”  
“I think we do,” said Numbuh 5. “This is going to sound really unbelievable, but I swear it’s true.”  
“Just spill it,” said Numbuh 86.  
“Well, you know how Numbuh 1 disappeared six months ago…” started Numbuh 5.

“So, you’re saying this ‘Galactic Kids Next Door’ is attacking us,” said Numbuh 86, adding her own air quotes. “And that Numbuh 1 just let it happen? And you expect us to believe that?”  
“But it’s true,” said Numbuh 3. “We all saw it.”  
“Yeah, how else do you explain Numbuh 74.239 and Numbuh Infinity disappearing, as well as Chad?” asked Numbuh 2.  
“Oh stop it,” snapped Numbuh 86. “Numbuh 362, you don’t honestly believe any of this, do you?”  
“I do believe this Numbuh 86,” said Numbuh 362 seriously.  
“What? Why?” asked Numbuh 86. “It’s the most ludicrous story I’ve ever heard.”  
“And do you know what else is ludicrous? Nigel Uno just abandoning the Kids Next Door for no reason,” replied Numbuh 362. “I’ve never seen a more loyal operative than Nigel, and I know he wouldn’t leave his position here on Earth unless he thought he could be of more use elsewhere.”  
“Bah, you’ve been brainwashed by their stupidity,” said Numbuh 86. “Come on Numbuh 71.562, let’s go see if we can find out what really happened.”  
“But Numbuh 86, it did happen,” said Numbuh 71.562, stopping Numbuh 86 in her tracks.  
“Oh jeez, not you too,” said Numbuh 86, turning to face Numbuh 71.562…  
…only to see the spot where Numbuh 71.562 had been standing now contained a green alien with four tentacles. The operatives present yelled and screamed in horror, backing away as much as possible.  
“Wait guys, calm down,” said Numbuh 71.562, regaining his human form. “That was just my true form. Most of the science division of the Kids Next Door are actually aliens.”  
“Of course,” said Numbuh 4. “That explains why Numbuh 2 is so weird.”  
“Hey, I’m not an alien,” retorted Numbuh 2.  
“Quite true,” said Numbuh 71.562. “Let’s face it, as if a human would ever be able to create technology that could compete on the same level as ours.”  
“And what do you mean by that?” demanded Numbuh 2, rolling up his sleeves.  
“Guys, we have a much bigger problem to deal with,” said Numbuh 5. “Namely, the whole ‘Numbuh 1 just tried to kill us’ problem. There’s no way Numbuh 1 would ever do that, unless they’ve brainwashed him.”  
“Most likely,” said Numbuh 71.562. “Maybe you humans aren’t as dumb as the rest of the GKND say.”  
“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that,” said Numbuh 5 through gritted teeth. “And stop Numbuh 1 as soon as possible. I’m heading out there.”  
“Pfft, good luck,” said Numbuh 71.562. “The Galactic Kids Next Door have been hiding from adults for years. Do you really think you’re going to find them by yourself?”  
“Which is why you’re going to help me,” said Numbuh 5.  
“Me?” asked Numbuh 71.562. “Sorry, but I serve a higher power, and…”  
“And when you’re in this Moonbase, you’ll listen to its Supreme Commander,” said Numbuh 5 threateningly. “And last time I checked, that was me.”  
Numbuh 71.562 gulped in terror. “Ye…yes ma’am,” he said, saluting her and shaking nervously.

“Me and Numbuh 2 are going to track down Numbuh 0,” said Numbuh 362. “If these GKND guys are going to attack again, we’re going to need more agents. And that might mean recommissioning a few old operatives.”  
“You’re nuts,” snapped Numbuh 86. “They’ll all be teenagers by now at best, and…”  
“And their planet is in danger as much as ours,” said Numbuh 362. “Teens and adults are dangerous enemies, but they’re not idiots. If the only way to save themselves is by allying themselves with us, they will.”  
“Which brings me to your job Numbuh 86,” said Numbuh 5. “Go get Numbuh 60 from the Arctic Base, and start recruiting and training new members. If it’s a fight they want, we’ll give it to them.”  
“But…” started Numbuh 86.  
“That’s an order,” said Numbuh 5. “Are you going to question it, or follow it?”  
Numbuh 86 sighed in defeat. “Follow it,” said Numbuh 86. “It’s not like you’re giving me much choice.”  
“Hey, what about us?” asked Numbuh 4, standing with Numbuh 3.  
“Numbuhs 3 and 4, you guys stay here in case Numbuh Vine calls in again,” said Numbuh 5. “If they do, you’re to contact the rest of us ASAP.”  
“Okay,” said Numbuh 3, happily skipping away.  
“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” said Numbuh 4. “You expect us to just sit here and wait around doing nothing, while the rest of you do all the dangerous stuff?”  
“Yes, I do,” said Numbuh 5. “Because I need our toughest people here on Earth, in case things go wrong. If they get around our defences, they’ll have you to deal with. That’s why you’re staying here.”  
“Oh…okay, that makes sense,” said Numbuh 4. “In that case, they better be ready to fight, or else they’ll feel the might of Wallabee Beetles.”  
“Alright, we all have our missions,” said Numbuh 5. “Let’s get to work.” Each of the groups left the meeting room and prepared to leave.

“Uh, Numbuh 5?” asked Numbuh 362. “Are you sure about leaving Numbuh 4 as a last line of defence?”  
“He’s a tough kid,” said Numbuh 5. “Plus, if he thinks he’s being helpful by staying put, hopefully he won’t mess things up too badly for the rest of us.”  
“Huh…never would have thought of that,” said Numbuh 362. “Guess you’ve got the hang of the Supreme Leader thing.”  
“Well, I learned from the best,” said Numbuh 5, saluting the other girl. “Good luck Rachel.”  
“You too Abby,” said Numbuh 362, saluting back. “And be careful.” The doors to their ships closed, and the kids all left on their missions.


	4. Numbuh Zero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Numbuhs 2 and 362 track down Numbuh 0 and 999, hoping to learn how to recommission old operatives.

“Numbuh 2, take us to Numbuh 0,” said Numbuh 362, strapping herself into her seat.  
“Yes ma’am,” said Numbuh 2, sitting down in the pilot’s seat and setting a course to where Numbuh 0 lived.  
“Uh, Numbuh 2?” said Numbuh 362. “What are doing? I thought Numbuh 0 lived in the house beneath our treehouse.”  
“He did,” said Numbuh 2. “But after Numbuh 1 left, he and Numbuh 999 didn’t want to keep living in that house, since it reminded them too much of him. So, they moved back to England, and left the real house to us to use as we please. I’ve been meaning to start adding it to our treehouse so we can use it as a store room, guest house, and party central, but…”  
“Wait a minute,” interrupted Numbuh 362. “You mean to tell me that we’ve owned an actual house for the past six months, and I, your team leader, WASN’T INFORMED?!”  
“Of course not,” said Numbuh 2. “It was more like five months ago.”  
“Numbuh 2,” said Numbuh 362 sternly. “I am the leader of Sector V now. I deserve to know what assets we have at our disposal.”  
“Sorry,” said Numbuh 2. “It just didn’t seem that important at the time, since we hadn’t done anything with it.”  
“As long as there are no more secrets like that,” said Numbuh 362. “Is there?”  
“Some of my tech is in the house,” said Numbuh 2. “But I swear, none of it is functional yet, so it’s not that important.”  
Numbuh 362 sighed heavily. “Just get us to Numbuh 0,” said Numbuh 362. “Do you know where they live?”  
“Of course,” said Numbuh 2. “We’ve been e-mailing each other for months…oops.”  
“Just fly the ship,” said Numbuh 362. “We’ll discuss you fraternising with adults later.”

Numbuh 2 brought the ship down in a quiet suburban street, in front of a small house with a white picket fence. “Alright, this is the place,” said Numbuh 2. “No sign of hostile adult activity, but I’d still bring a weapon. I don’t know what the adults in the area are like.”  
“Based on my knowledge from the British sectors of the Kids Next Door, they mostly just drink tea and eat crumpets,” said Numbuh 362. “I wouldn’t worry too much.” Numbuh 362 started up at the house. “If this is Numbuh 0’s house, it’ll be pretty well guarded.”  
“Against us?” asked Numbuh 2.  
“No, for us,” said Numbuh 362. “He’s probably guarded it in such a way that we Kids Next Door operatives can get through, but no-one else can. Come on, let’s go.” The two of them disembarked the ship, unaware that someone was watching them.  
“Let’s see here…” said Numbuh 2, studying the cobblestone path to the front door carefully. “Okay, avoid every third white rock, except for the last one where it’s the fourth one.”  
“How can you tell so much just from looking at it?” asked Numbuh 362, following Numbuh 2’s instructions.  
“When you spend enough time inventing stuff, you start to figure out things like this,” said Numbuh 2, stepping over the last stone and knocking on the door.  
The two kids heard someone moving around inside, and then the door opened. Before them stood a large balding man in his forties, who was once upon a time the greatest operative in the Kids Next Door. “Ah, Hoagie and Rachel, isn’t it?” asked Numbuh 0. “Come in, come in, we have much to talk about.”  
“Wait, were you expecting us?” asked Numbuh 362.  
“Of course I was,” said Numbuh 0. “You don’t think I’d miss something like a laser being fired at the planet, did you?” Numbuh 0 paused at the stairs for a moment. “Any sign of a second attack yet dear?”  
“Nothing yet,” Numbuh 999 called back to him. “I’ll keep you posted though.”  
“Good work Numbuh 999,” said Numbuh 0. “So, things are that bad are they?”  
“How bad do you think they are?” asked Numbuh 2.  
“Let me guess: that attack came from what you suspect was Nigel, which means he’s not acting of his own accord. Now, you’re concerned of an invasion attacking us or even just a second attack coming out of nowhere, and need help protecting the Earth, possibly by recommissioning old agents,” said Numbuh 0. “Don’t look so shocked, I was once the Leader of the Kids Next Door. I know how all this works”  
“Well, since you already cut to the chase,” said Numbuh 362. “Can you help us? All we need is to know how to recommission old operatives, then…”  
“Let me stop you right there,” said Numbuh 0. “I can’t help you.”  
“Can’t, or won’t?” asked Numbuh 2.  
“Both,” said Numbuh 0. “The recommissioning device was created with the intent of bringing back kids who had been Delightfulised. However, as time went on, the machine’s power faded, until its effects would only be temporary. After that, I destroyed it, since being an adult caring for a child was a much more important mission than helping the Kids Next Door. On top of that, I couldn’t risk a former high ranking member, full of secrets about the KND, being recommissioned and telling the adults what they know. Plus, I don’t even remember how I made it in the first place.”  
“Jeez, couldn’t you have led with that last part?” asked Numbuh 2.  
“The point is, I can’t help you recommission old operatives,” said Numbuh 0. “That’s why I destroyed the old recommissioning device. We need to avoid power like that falling into the hands of adults…well, the evil ones at least.”  
“But we need to recommission old operatives,” said Numbuh 2. “The more we have, the better chance we’ll stand against the Galactic Kids Next Door.”  
“Aren’t you forgetting something?” asked Numbuh 0. “Every adult and teen you’ve ever fought will likely fight alongside you if it means protecting the planet, especially if it’s against other kids. Go recruit them as they are. It’ll mean much less re-decommissioning afterwards.”

“He’s right Numbuh 2,” said Numbuh 362. “We should just focus on finding powerful allies to fight them. Stickybeard, Nightbrace, Mr. Boss…”  
“Father,” said Numbuh 2 in a slightly worried voice.  
“Yes, even Father,” said Numbuh 362.  
“No, as in he’s here,” said Numbuh 2, throwing himself over Numbuh 362 as the front wall burst inwards.  
“HOAGIE GILLIGAN!” yelled the black suited flaming man known as Father. “It’s about time you showed your face here. Trying to find Nigel, are you?”  
“Well, I mean, I guess…” started Numbuh 2.  
“PERFECT!” yelled Father. “Because I need to have a word with him after he STOLE MY PIPE!”  
“You can’t just…you know…get a new one?” suggested Numbuh 362.  
“How DARE you question me,” snapped Father. “Why I oughta…” Before he could finish his sentence, a spray of cold water blasted Father.  
“Benny old boy, you need to cool off,” said Numbuh 0, standing ready with a garden hose.  
“Stay out of this Monty,” snarled Father. “This is between me and the Kids Next Door.”  
“Uh-huh, and guess what?” said Numbuh 0. “I’m with them, so if you have a problem with the Kids Next Door, you have a problem with me.”  
“And me,” said Numbuh 999, appearing at the top of the stairs with a pair of mustard guns. “Now Benny, are you going to settle down, or do you want to face the might of two of the Kids Next Door’s best?”  
“Hmm…” pondered Father for a moment. “I choose…THESE TWO!” Father quickly turned on Numbuhs 0 and 999, knocking them both down with blasts of fire, before turning his attention to Numbuhs 2 and 362. “Now, you two are going to take me to Nigel Uno. RIGHT! NOW!”  
“But…we don’t even know where he is yet,” said Numbuh 2, backing away with Numbuh 362.  
“Well, you’re going to want to find out pretty quickly,” said Father, closing in on them. “Or else I’m going to have to…” Whatever he was threatening to do was cut off as Numbuh 999 threw herself onto Father’s back.  
“RUN CHILDREN!” she yelled, wailing on Father as he desperately tried to throw her off.  
“But what about you two?” asked Numbuh 362.  
“Never mind about us,” said Numbuh 0, spraying Father with his hose. “We’ll handle Father, get him under wraps, then catch up with you later.”  
“Where?” asked Numbuh 2.  
“Doesn’t matter, we’ll find you,” said Numbuh 999. “We’ve been Kids Next Dorr operatives longer than you’ve been alive. We know how to do it.”  
“Come on Numbuh 2,” said Numbuh 362, dragging him back outside towards the ship.  
“OH NO YOU DON’T!” cried Father, coming after them. As he was catching up, he stepped on one of the white stones of the cobblestone path. Before he realised what he’d done, Father was flung across the lawn and through a fence.  
“Get us outta here Numbuh 2,” said Numbuh 362. “Back to the treehouse. We’ll figure out our next course of action on the way.”  
“Yes ma’am,” said Numbuh 2, putting the ship into gear and flying off as fast as he could.  
“GET BACK HERE!” yelled Father from the ground as they disappeared, before getting sprayed by the hose again.  
“Aren’t you forgetting someone?” asked Numbuh 999, ready with her husband to continue their earlier battle. Father glared at them, before charging towards them.

“Numbuh Gajillion,” said Numbuh Ordinal. “The ray we sent at Earth before…”  
“Ah, yes,” said Numbuh Gajillion. “What’s the status of the planet now?”  
“That’s the thing sir,” said Numbuh Ordinal. “It…didn’t hit. The Earthlings seemed to have expected it, and deflected it back into space.” Numbuh Ordinal looked worried, preparing himself for Numbuh Gajillion’s wrath. Instead, Numbuh Gajillion just looked thoughtful.  
“They were expecting it, were they?” asked Numbuh Gajillion. “Which means they were warned, right?”  
“Well, I guess…” said Numbuh Ordinal. “But…”  
“But why are you still here, and not looking for the traitor?” asked Numbuh Gajillion.  
“You’re not mad at me sir?” asked Numbuh Ordinal.  
“In my experience, the bearer of bad news is never the cause of it,” said Numbuh Gajillion. “It’s the causer of bad news that I’m mad with. Now, get to work.” Numbuh Ordinal squeaked, then scurried out of the room, leaving Numbuh Gajillion to his thoughts.


	5. Come In, Numbuh Vine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Numbuh Vine contacts Moonbase with vital information for the destruction of the Galactic Kids Next Door.

Numbuhs 3 and 4 sat in the main control room of the Kids Next Door Moonbase. Numbuh 3 was playing with her Rainbow Monkeys, and Numbuh 4 was staring blankly at a computer screen, awaiting any kind of incoming message. Numbuh 3 sat with her toys, singing and playing happily in the otherwise quiet room, while Numbuh 4 drummed his fingers on a desk, trying to resist the urge to snap at Numbuh 3. The minutes ticked on, and still nothing happened. Numbuh 4 held his tongue for as long as he could, but…  
“I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!” yelled Numbuh 4, jumping up from his seat. “I was promised there would be alien butts to kick, and so far they’ve been too chicken to show up. How much longer do we have to wait?”  
“Hush, Numbuh 4,” said Numbuh 3. “You’re upsetting Posh Party Rainbow Monkey.”  
“I don’t care what…” started Numbuh 4, as the computer behind him started beeping. “Finally, some action.” Numbuh 4 jumped back into the seat and started loading the message. The screen flickered, and a being that looked like an upside down pot plant appeared. “Um…”  
“Numbuh 4?” asked Numbuh Vine. “Err, is there anyone…um…more in charge there at the moment?”  
“Nope, just me and Numbuh 3,” said Numbuh 4 proudly. “Any mission you have for us, we’ll take.”  
“That’s what I was afraid of,” muttered Numbuh Vine. “Oh well, nothing for it I guess. I’m sending you guys some files about the Galactic Kids Next Door. Make sure the higher-ups of the Kids Next Door get them. They contain vital information that will help with taking down the Galactic Kids Next Door once and for all.”  
“Yes ma’am,” said Numbuh 4, clicking the download button.  
“Excellent,” said Numbuh Vine. “Where is everyone anyway?”  
“Well, Numbuhs 2 and 362 are tracking down and recommissioning old operatives,” said Numbuh 3. “Numbuhs 86 and 60 are prepping all operatives for battle…”  
“Good, you guys might stand a chance,” said Numbuh Vine. “How about Numbuh 5?”  
“Oh, she’s on her way to you guys right now to save Numbuh 1,” said Numbuh 4.  
“WHAT?!” snapped Numbuh Vine. “She’ll never find this place by herself.”  
“That’s why she brought Numbuh 71.562 with her,” said Numbuh 4. “He’ll be happy to…”  
“THAT’S EVEN WORSE!” yelled Numbuh Vine. “Do you really think he’s on your side?”  
“…I mean, he wants adults stopped as much as us,” said Numbuh 4.  
“You’re wrong,” said Numbuh Vine. “He wants them gone more than you. That’s why he’s helping the Galactic Kids Next Door. He can’t be trusted.” Numbuh Vine sighed in frustration. “Wait there, I’m going to contact Numbuh 5 and try to warn her. You just get the information to Numbuh 362 and hope she can come up with a plan.” The screen went black, leaving the two kids in shock.  
“Well, that was weird,” said Numbuh 4. “So, let’s upload this to the Internet, and…”  
“Wait Numbuh 4,” said Numbuh 3. “Didn’t Numbuh Vine tell you to give the files to Numbuh 362?”  
“You weren’t reading between the lines,” said Numbuh 4, tapping the side of his head. “She wants this on the Internet, because then it becomes difficult to delete, so if the Galactic Kids Next Door try to hack our computers to get rid of it, it still exists.”  
“I don’t know…” said Numbuh 3, as Numbuh 4 clicked the upload button.  
“Relax Numbuh 3,” said Numbuh 4. “What’s the worst that could happen? Even if the adults find this information, they’d probably want to help beat some kids trying to eliminate adults. And that’s assuming they can figure out the Internet, which as adults, they can’t.”

Meanwhile…  
“Look at this, Mr. Wink,” said Mr. Fibb, turning his laptop so that his partner could see.  
“Very interesting Mr. Fibb,” said Mr. Wink. “Galactic Kids Next Door? Destroying the world? I think a few of our friends might be interested in this.”  
“Indeed Mr. Wink,” said Mr. Fibb, pulling out his phone and sending out a group text. Within seconds, most of the world’s villains were told to check out the link sent to them by Mr. Fibb.  
At a downtown café, Knightbrace received his text and immediately clicked the link.  
“Ooh, what you got there Knightbrace?” asked the Toiletnator, watching Knightbrace read through the documents.  
“Oh, just some supervillainy stuff,” said Knightbrace.  
“Sounds like fun, anything I can help you with?” asked the Toiletnator.  
“Sorry Toiletnator, this is for specific villains,” said Knightbrace, well aware of the words ‘sent to all villains’ in the message.  
“Aww, I want to help,” said the Toiletnator, starting to throw a tantrum.  
“Okay, okay,” said Knightbrace, thinking quickly. “If you want to help, you can…err…get me another cup of coffee.”  
“Okay,” said the Toiletnator enthusiastically, marching up to the counter as Knightbrace snuck out of the café. The Toiletnator hummed cheerfully to himself until an important realisation dawned upon him. “Hey, Knightbrace doesn’t drink coffee. It rots your teeth. And he didn’t even finish his last one.” The Toiletnator turned around to confront him about this, only to find his booth empty. “HEY!”

Meanwhile, back at Moonbase…  
Another message beeped on the computer, and Numbuh Vine reappeared on the screen. “Okay, hopefully that message will reach Numbuh 5. Have you sent those files to Numbuh 362?”  
“Yep. We uploaded them to the Internet like you asked,” said Numbuh 4.  
“Excellent. Now, the next step is…wait, WHAT?!” yelled Numbuh Vine. “That’s not what I asked at all.”  
“But I thought…” started Numbuh 4.  
“I don’t think you did,” said Numbuh Vine. “Because of you, the whole…” As Numbuh Vine was speaking, the screen flickered, and suddenly Numbuh Vine’s appearance shifted. Now, they looked more human, and very familiar.  
“…Lizzie?” asked Numbuh 4.  
“Holy sh…” started Numbuh 3, before Numbuh 4 slapped a hand over her mouth. She glared at him and removed his hand. “I was going to say ‘Holy Sugar’. What did you think I was going to say?”  
“Oh, uh, nothing,” said Numbuh 4, before quickly changing the subject. “So Lizzie, you’re Numbuh Vine?”  
“What? Who told you?” demanded Lizzie, before suddenly realising she was no longer in plant form. “Oh great, my human disguise is acting up. Who was running the tech department while I was on Earth? Numbuh Moron?”  
“Tell me about it,” called Numbuh 74.239 from another room.  
“So Lizzie, what do we do now?” asked Numbuh 3.  
“You need to get as many people off that planet as possible,” said Lizzie. “Every kid, every adult, every man, woman, and child, everyone, because they’re going to attack again soon. And this time, they won’t be stopped by a giant mirror. And they all need to be ready to fight.” As she finished speaking, there was a loud explosion, and lasers started flying into her room. “HURRY!” Lizzie ducked down to avoid being shot, as something large stomped into her room.  
“TRAITOR!” boomed someone. “WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?!”  
“Good luck finding out,” said Lizzie, punching her camera, sending the Earth Kids computer to static.  
Numbuhs 3 and 4 stared in shock at the screen, until Numbuh 4 broke the silence. “Holy sh…”


	6. Enemy Territory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Numbuh 5 arrives at the Galactic Kids Next Door headquarters, only to be met with extreme hostility. Meanwhile, Chad and Cree continue to track down Numbuh 1.

“How much further is this base of yours?” asked Numbuh 5. “It feels like we’ve been flying for hours.”  
“We have been flying for hours,” said Numbuh 71.562. “Luckily we’re almost there now. Though I don’t know what’s going to happen once we get there.”  
“What’s going to happen is you’re going to demand a meeting with the leader there,” said Numbuh 5. “What did you say his name was? Numbuh Gajillion?”  
“That’s right,” said Numbuh 71.562. “And do you really think he’s just going to grant a meeting with you? I mean, he just tried to destroy your planet.”  
“Well, you’re just going to have to be very persuasive,” said Numbuh 5, as a screen in front of her started to crackle to life. Numbuh 5 saw a flicker of something familiar on the screen, and immediately plugged her earbuds into the machine. “Now, Numbuh 5’s just gonna listen to some tunes. Let me know when we get there.”  
“Idiotic Earth kids,” muttered Numbuh 71.562. “Listening to music when the fate of their existence is on the line.”  
Numbuh 5 tuned him out as a message from Numbuh Vine started playing. Numbuh 5 listened intently, nodding along as though she was listening to a really catchy song. It didn’t take long for the video feed to disconnect, but Numbuh 5 kept the act up for a few more minutes, when…  
“We’re here,” said Numbuh 71.562, causing Numbuh 5 to look up. Before them was a huge cake-shaped spaceship, floating ominously in the darkness of space. Searchlights were pointed in almost every direction, until one pointed at them. Suddenly, an alarm went off.  
“UNIDENTIFIED SHIP!” boomed a voice through the ship’s speakers. “YOU’RE APPROACHING RESTRICTED SPACE! STATE YOUR PURPOSE OR TURN AROUND! FAILURE TO COMPLY WILL LEAD YOU TO DESTRUCTION!”  
Numbuh 5 was about to respond to the message when Numbuh 71.562 grabbed her hand. “What do you think they’re going to do when an operative they don’t know responds, huh?”  
“I am your commanding officer,” snapped Numbuh 5.  
“And you don’t know these guys. I do,” said Numbuh 71.562. “Let me handle this, and we’ll both get through this unscathed.”  
Numbuh 5 glared at him, but sighed in defeat and relaxed. “Fine,” she said. “But only because we both die if we don’t do it your way.”  
“Good to see you’re figuring that out now,” said Numbuh 71.562 smugly. “Now keep quiet.” Numbuh 71.562 hit the hailing button. “Guys…it’s….it’s Numbuh 71.562,” he wheezed, as though out of breath. “They know. Those Earth kids are smarter than we thought. I only just got out of there alive. That’s why this ship is in such bad condition…” Numbuh 5 glared at him, since the ship was completely undamaged.  
“Numbuh 71.562? Man, you sound terrible,” replied the voice on the system. “Have your ship dock in Port 2, we’ll have a med team on standby to have a look at you.”  
“Thank you,” coughed Numbuh 71.562, before hanging up on them. “See? Now we’ll at least get into the base before they dispose of you.”  
“What about you? You led me here,” said Numbuh 5.  
“True, they might discipline me,” said Numbuh 71.562. “But compared to what they’ll do to you, I think it’s a reasonable trade-off. Face it Abbie, you’re out of your depth here.”  
“I’ve been kicking adult butt for years,” said Numbuh 5. “Your Galactic Kids are the ones out of their depth.”  
“You’ll see,” said Numbuh 71.562 as the ship passed through a clear window into the base. The ship settled on the floor and the door opened. “Here we go.” Numbuh 71.562 walked past Numbuh 5 quickly and approached the nearest operative. “She’s still onboard. Get her.”

Two large aliens smirked with malicious glee, and stomped into the small ship…only to find it empty. “What the…” said one of them, as something kicked one of them from the side of the head, sending him crashing into the steering column.  
“Looking for me baby?” asked Numbuh 5, standing tauntingly near the exit, holding something in her hand. The second guard leapt at her, but Numbuh 5 leapt out of the way, throwing what was in her hand away as she did: a small ball, which landed on one of the switches on a control panel. The door began to close, but Numbuh 5 managed to escape as the spaceship started flying back out of the base.  
“But…but how?” stuttered Numbuh 71.562, backing away slowly. “How did you know about them?”  
“You know that music I was listening to?” asked Numbuh 5. “That was a message from Numbuh Vine. She told me a lot about you. Like how you were staying on Earth to make sure we didn’t try anything drastic to get Numbuh 1 back. I suspected you’d try to betray me anyway, so this wasn’t much of a surprise. Still, I knew I had to be ready for pretty much anything.”  
“Darn, you’re better than I thought,” muttered Numbuh 71.562.  
“There’s a reason I run the Kids Next Door,” said Numbuh 5. “Now, where is Numbuh 1?”  
“How cute. She still thinks she can call the shots,” came a low, dark voice. Numbuh 5 spun around to see a dark, shadowy figure. At first she thought it was Father, but there was something more demonic and evil about this guy. “Welcome to the Galactic Kids Next Door’s secret base. I’m Numbuh Gajillion, and I will be the one removing you from our facility.”  
Numbuh 5 stared at him in horror. This guy was huge. How was he still a kid? Numbuh 5 backed up a bit, trying to scale him up. Maybe he wasn’t as tough as he looked? If she acted confident, it might confuse him enough to get an edge against him. “Yeah? Well, I’ve battled adults twice your size,” snapped Numbuh 5, trying to stand her ground. “There’s a reason I lead Earth’s kids, you know.”  
“Ah yes, that would be because your only good agent is with us now,” said Numbuh Gajillion. “An agent who willingly attacked his own home planet. Why are you even here? He clearly doesn’t want anything to do with you.”  
“No,” said Numbuh 5. “The Nigel I know would never do that. I don’t know what you did, but I’m here to talk some sense into him. Now, where’s Numbuh 1?”  
Numbuh Gajillion laughed. “You pathetic little human,” he said. “Do you really think I’d just tell you that information?”  
“I just thought I’d give you a peaceful option before I beat it out of you,” said Numbuh 5, charging at him. Numbuh Gajillion yawned as she approached, before casually backhanding her through a wall.  
“You humans are more foolish than I thought,” said Numbuh Gajillion, walking towards Numbuh 5 through the rubble. “You lead a planet of kids? I lead a universe. You can’t beat me, I can crush you like a bug.”  
Numbuh 5 struggled to her feet, and looked up at the huge figure before her. This guy was strong. Way too strong for her to make a frontal assault. She’d need to attack from a distance. Numbuh 5 reached behind her and pulled out her gumball gun, immediately opening fire on Numbuh Gajillion. Numbuh Gajillion didn’t even seem to feel it, he just walked straight through towards Numbuh 5.  
“You’re a feisty one, I’ll give you that,” said Numbuh Gajillion, ripping the weapon out of her hand. “It’s too bad we already have an Earthling, I might have considered you if we had an opening.” Numbuh Gajillion crushed Numbuh 5’s weapon with ease, dropping the pieces on the floor behind him.  
“Why would I join a group designed to destroy entire planets?” demanded Numbuh 5, trying to find a way out. She saw a door on the other side of the hanger they were in, but Numbuh Gajillion had her cornered. Unless…Numbuh 5 quickly thought of a plan. Not a good one, but anything that worked would be fine at this point.  
“So you want me gone then?” asked Numbuh 5. “Well, you have to catch me first.” Numbuh 5 ran at him as fast as she could, and managed to duck under his legs, going past the remains of her gun as she did. Numbuh Gajillion roared in rage and gave chase, only to slip on the loose gumballs from Numbuh 5’s gun. Numbuh 5 knew she’d only bought herself a few seconds, but she used them wisely, sprinting through the door and closing it behind her. She saw several bits of furniture and loose items, which she stacked in front of the door. “That should hold him for a while,” she said. “Now to find Numbuh 1.” Numbuh 5 hurried down the corridor before Numbuh Gajillion could find her.

“Are you sure this is where Numbuh 1 will be?” asked Cree, following Chad through the hallways.  
“Of course,” said Chad. “I know where his room is. Just be careful, there are bound to be plenty of guards around.”  
“Huh, it’s like they didn’t want us to escape their prison or something,” said Cree.  
“Shh,” said Chad, stopping Cree before she could go any further. “We’re here. It’s show time.”  
“Good. I’m going to pound that little brat for…” started Cree.  
“Actually, you should stand guard,” said Chad.  
“WHAT?!” snapped Cree. “Let me remind you why we’re not in prison anymore…”  
“Let me remind you which one of us Numbuh 1 considers an enemy of the Kids Next Door,” said Chad. “Okay, technically both us of, but I at least was on better terms with him before I got thrown in jail.”  
“Pfft, whatever,” said Cree. “But just so you know, if he’s going to be unco-operative, I’m kicking his butt back to last Tuesday.”  
“Noted,” said Chad, opening the door. “Just let me do the…” Before he could finish, a giant furry monster leapt on top of Chad, pinning him to the floor. “Whoa, what the…”  
“You are not hurting Numbuh 1,” snarled the beast. “This is where you die, traitor.”  
“That’s enough Numbuh 9L,” came a voice from inside the room. Chad peered past the giant creature to see the familiar bald child standing in the doorway.  
“But Nigel…” started Numbuh 9L.  
“I knew he’d be coming,” said Numbuh 1. “There was no way the prison was going to hold him for long. Of course, I didn’t expect Cree to be with him. Guess they got her too then.”  
“Nigel,” said Chad, pushing himself to his feet. “Can we talk? Privately?”  
“Oh no,” said Numbuh 9L. “Anything you need to say to him can be said in front of me.”  
“It’s okay Numbuh 9L,” said Numbuh 1, opening the door to his room. “Both of you, come in before someone sees you. Numbuh 9L, if you hear anything, tell me immediately.” Numbuh 9L didn’t look happy about it, but she sat her huge cat-like body in front of the door. Numbuh 1 closed the door most of the way behind him, and sat down at his desk. “So Chad, I assume this is about Earth.”  
“You’re extremely calm for something that just killed his planet,” said Chad, restraining his anger. “Do you have any idea how many people you’ve doomed with that attack?”  
“Then let’s just hope Numbuh Vine got her message out in time,” said Numbuh 1, still extremely calm.  
“Say what?” asked Chad. “You were working with Numbuh Vine?”  
“Indeed I was,” said Numbuh 1. “You see, Numbuh 9L was once put in the same position as me. Her planet was killed because Numbuh Gajillion forced her to destroy it. The same goes for Numbuh Vine, and there are others we believe might be sympathetic to our cause, though we need to be very cautious about approaching others. Between us, we intend to bring down Numbuh Gajillion’s tyranny.”  
“Are you serious?” asked Chad. “You have three people on your side. Numbuh Gajillion just needs to brand you a traitor, and he’ll have hundreds, maybe more, against you.”  
“That’s where you’re wrong,” said Numbuh 1. “I have five people on my side now. You two are going to help me.”  
“I never agreed to that,” snapped Cree.  
“Except that if you don’t, I sound an alarm and have both of you arrested again,” said Numbuh 1. “Remember, you’re not getting out of here without a fight. At least with me, you might gain your freedom.”  
“He’s got a point Cree,” said Chad. “Remember, these guys are supposed to be the best of the best, and we’re hopelessly outnumbered. At least with Numbuh 1, we stand a better chance of winning.”  
“You mean our 0.01% chance of winning went up to 0.02%?” asked Cree, sighing. “And I was preparing to beat the snot out of this kid. Alright Nigel, I’m in. But once we’re back on Earth, this truce ends.”  
“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” said Numbuh 1. “Now, what we…” Before he could finish that thought, an alarm started blaring.

“ALL OPERATIVES! AN INTRUDER HAS INFILTRATED OUR HEADQUARTERS!” said an announcement. “ALL OPERATIVES, PLEASE APPREHEND THE SUSPECT AND DETAIN THEM IF POSSIBLE, BUT BE PREPARED TO USE DEADLY FORCE IF NECESSARY!”  
“Intruder?” asked Cree. “Are we really intruders? They brought us here themselves.”  
“It’s not you,” said Numbuh 1. “They said ‘an intruder’, so it’s only one. I don’t know that the announcement had anything to do with you.”  
“So, what if we help take down the intruder?” asked Cree. “Surely that would make them think we’re on their side, right?”  
“I doubt it,” said Numbuh 1. “They’ll probably thank you, then detain you and decommission you. And if you’re lucky, it’ll be in that order.” Numbuh 1 went over to his closet, pulling out a dangerous looking weapon. “You two stay out of sight. I’m going to…” Before he could finish that thought, Numbuh 1 heard Numbuh 9L growling at someone. “Numbuh 9L, is everything alright out there?”  
“IT’S THE INTRUDER!” yelled Numbuh 9L.  
“What?!” cried Numbuh 1 in surprise, running towards the door. “Let me at them. I’ll…Numbuh 5?”  
“Numbuh 1?” asked Numbuh 5 in surprise.  
“Abbie?” asked Cree in confusion.  
“Cree? What the heck are you doing in here?” snapped Numbuh 5.  
“Never mind what she’s doing here, what are you…” started Numbuh 1, before Numbuh 5 slapped him. “What was that for?”  
“That’s for trying to destroy Earth you numskull,” snapped Numbuh 5, before hugging him. “And that’s because I missed you. Now, why are you hanging out here with my sister and Chad?”  
“It’s a long story Abbie,” said Numbuh 1. “Short version is: we need all the help we can get to stop the Galactic Kids Next Door. Are you in?”  
“Are you kidding? That’s the reason I came out here,” said Numbuh 5. “Heck, the guys back on Earth are getting ready for another attack as we speak.”  
“Excellent,” said Numbuh 1, looking up at Numbuh 9L, who was looking slightly worried. Numbuh 1 gave her an inquisitive look, to which she just nodded. “Okay, we don’t have much time, so here’s my plan so far. Keep in mind, this is only the beginning, and I haven’t got all the details yet.”  
“Lay it on us baby,” said Numbuh 5 casually. Numbuh 1 nodded, and explained his current idea to the group. “Are you crazy?” snapped Numbuh 5.  
“Guys, we don’t have time to…” started Numbuh 1.  
“There they are,” cried a guard in the distance. “The traitor and the escapees are working together.”  
“Wait, isn’t that Numbuh 1 helping them?” asked the other guard.  
“Of course not,” said Numbuh 1. “I was trying to convince them to come peacefully. Unfortunately, they’ve left me no choice.”  
“Oh no, I’m not going back in that cell,” said Cree, getting ready to strike. Before she got the chance, Numbuh 9L jumped on top of her, growling in her face. Chad made a move to help her, but Numbuh 9L trapped him against the wall with her tail.  
“Nigel, please,” begged Numbuh 5. “Don’t do this.”  
“I’m sorry Numbuh 5,” said Numbuh 1, grabbing her arms and pinning her to the wall. “Arrest them.”  
“Yes sir Numbuh 1,” said the guard, snapping cuffs around the three prisoners’ wrists. “We’ll lock them up with that other traitor Numbuh Vine.” As they were led away, Numbuh 1 sighed heavily, hoping he was doing the right thing.


	7. Counter-Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Numbuhs 60 and 86 set off to find ex-operatives to recommission.

“…So, let me get this straight,” said Numbuh 60. “Numbuh 1 joined some kind of secret, higher level Kids Next Door, and was then forced to attack us? And this talking pot plant warned you of the threat, and that’s how you knew to use the M.I.R.R.O.R.? And now Numbuh 5 is flying out with a confirmed enemy to confront the leader of these evil kids, with no back-up whatsoever?”  
“I know it all sounds crazy,” said Numbuh 86. “But I swear, it’s all true…”  
“Oh, I believe you,” said Numbuh 60. “I know you wouldn’t make up a story that insane unless it was true. You’d make up something more believable if you wanted to lie to me.”  
“Oh…okay,” said Numbuh 86, surprised he accepted the story so easily.  
“So, what do we do now?” asked Numbuh 60.  
“Numbuh 2 and 362 are trying to convince Numbuh 0 to help them build a new recommissioning device,” said Numbuh 86. “Once they’ve done that, they want to bring back as many old operatives as possible.”  
“WHAT?!” snapped Numbuh 60. “But they’ll all be teenagers, or worse, adults, by now.”  
“I know,” said Numbuh 86. “But this is a far greater threat than anything we’ve ever faced. We need all the help we can get. And unfortunately, that means getting our numbers up as high as possible.”  
“You know we have a training ground full of plenty of potential recruits right here, right?” asked Numbuh 60, indicating many of the young operatives-in-training around them.  
“With all due respect Numbuh 60, we can’t risk it,” said Numbuh 86. “This is a deep space battle we’re going into, against a force more dangerous than any adult we’ve ever faced. This is no place for untrained rookies. We need experience, and lots of it. I say we start rounding up as many as we can find so it’ll be easier for Numbuhs 2 and 362 to recommission them.”  
Numbuh 60 sighed heavily. “I don’t want to admit you’re right,” he said. “But you’re right. Where do you suggest we start?”  
“I know just the operative,” said Numbuh 86, leading the way to the ship.

Numbuh 86’s ship landed in a quiet suburban street. “Isn’t this Sector V’s territory?” asked Numbuh 60.  
“Well, he still lives here, so we should hopefully be able to find him and bring him back,” said Numbuh 86, running up to a nearby house.  
“This better work,” muttered Numbuh 60 as Numbuh 86 knocked on the door. A few seconds later, an African American teenager opened the door.  
“Um…can I help you?” asked the teen.  
“Maurice?” asked Numbuh 86.  
“Do I…know you?” asked Maurice.  
“You probably don’t remember,” said Numbuh 86. “I am Numbuh 86, this is Numbuh 60, and you were once part of a huge network of kids called the Kids Next Door, who work together to fight adult tyranny. Except now we’re facing a threat bigger than anything we’ve ever faced: a group of aliens bent on destroying the wor…”  
“It’s okay Maurice, you don’t have to act dumb for them,” said Numbuh 362, coming out from the living room. “They have a right to know about it too.”  
“Numbuh 362? What are you doing here? Know about what?” snapped Numbuh 86. “Did you already recommission Numbuh 9?”  
“Yeah, about that…it’s hard to recommission someone who was never decommissioned,” said Numbuh 362 sheepishly.  
“WHAT?!” yelled Numbuh 86. “But…but…I personally decommissioned him. I flipped the switch. I saw it happen.”  
“And I personally saw to it that he didn’t get decommissioned,” said Numbuh 362. “Come in, we need to talk.”

“So, this whole time there’s been a Teens Next Door, and you’ve been keeping it a secret from everyone?” asked Numbuh 60.  
“There’s also an Adults Next Door,” said Numbuh 362. “It’s how we keep some of our best agents from turning on us.”  
“Then how do you explain Chad and Cree?” asked Numbuh 60.  
“They were due to join their ranks,” said Numbuh 362. “Unfortunately for Cree, she thought she’d be decommissioned since she didn’t know about the Teens Next Door, so she turned against us. As for Chad, he knew about the group. I think he just assumed once we knew he was turning thirteen that we’d hate him, and he just became what he thought we’d think of him. I was set to reassign him myself, but he left before I could.”  
“Where are they, by the way?” asked Numbuh 86, turning to face Maurice.  
“Beats me,” said Maurice. “Chad hasn’t been seen since that attempted alliance between kids and teens. As for Cree, we heard you guys had caught her and were going to decommission her, but we haven’t seen or heard from her in a few months.”  
“I was told she escaped again,” said Numbuh 362. “But since that was from Numbuh 74.239, I’m starting to think that may have been a lie.”  
“Of course it was,” said Numbuh 2. “74.239 disappeared shortly after it happened too, so I’m guessing he must have taken her to the Galactic Kids Next Door.”  
“But why not just decommission her and send her back?” asked Numbuh 362. “Sure, she’s dangerous, but if she’s decommissioned she’s far less of a threat.”  
“It’s because she holds critical information for the teenagers, and even some for the adults,” said Maurice. “It wouldn’t surprise me if they were holding her until she decided to spill that information to the GKND.”  
“Then what are we waiting for?” said Numbuh 86. “We go in there, we get them out, make them help us, then kick them GKND kid’s butts.”  
“First, we’re gonna need all the backup we can get,” said Numbuh 362. “Numbuh 2, start contacting all the teens and adults you can find, then…”  
“Actually Numbuh 362, it looks like they might already know,” said Numbuh 2, turning his computer screen to face the others. On it, they saw documents detailing members of the Galactic Kids Next Door, as well as a hacked internet chatroom featuring many of the adults discussing a plan of attack (and a message saying The Toiletnator had been banned).  
“What the? How did all this end up on the Internet?” asked Numbuh 362, before realisation hit. “NUMBUH 4!”  
“Most likely,” said Numbuh 2.  
“Well, it saves time on explanation at least,” muttered Numbuh 362. “Okay, get everyone to Moonbase. We’ll discuss tactics there. Let’s go.”

“Is it ready to fire?” asked Numbuh Gajillion.  
“It’s ready,” said Numbuh Ordinal.  
“Excellent,” said Numbuh Gajillion. “Nigel, since the first blast was deflected because of Numbuh Vine’s betrayal, how about you do it again?”  
“And you’re sure it missed the first time?” asked Numbuh 1.  
“We’re pretty sure,” said Numbuh Gajillion. “But it won’t hurt to do it again, just to make sure.”  
Numbuh 1 sighed. “I guess I don’t have a choice,” he said, his finger moving towards the button…


	8. Goodbye Earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids and adults have a meeting on Moon Base to decide on a plan of attack against the GKND, when the GKND attack again.

“Numbuh 362, I get why we have all the adults here at Moon Base,” said Numbuh 60. “But couldn’t we have found somewhere on Earth to have this meeting?”  
“The Galactic Kids Next Door are probably going to attack again,” said Numbuh 362. “I’d rather not risk the lives of our operatives, as well as the adults that we need to fight alongside, by staying on Earth.”  
“Well, I don’t like it,” said Numbuh 86.  
“You don’t have to like it, you just have to obey it,” said Numbuh 362. “Now, I’m going out there to address everyone, before any major fights break out.” Numbuh 362 took a deep breath, then marched out onto the stage. Sure enough, many of the kids were getting very apprehensive at being so close to the adults, and many of the adults seemed to be revelling in how uncomfortable the kids were. “Attention everyone,” said Numbuh 362. “You’re probably wondering why we’ve all been gathered here today…”  
“I’ll say,” yelled out Numbuh 2x4. “Why are the adults here? This is OUR base, not theirs.”  
“Yarr, shut ye yap, ye snot nosed brat,” snapped Stickybeard.  
“Why, I oughta spank you back to last Tuesday,” said Count Spankulot.  
“I’d like to see you try,” said Numbuh 2x4, pulling out a gumball gun.  
“Please settle down,” said Numbuh 362. “We have a much more pressing matter to attend to. Namely, the Galactic Kids Next Door.”  
“Galactic Kids Next Door?” asked Numbuh 101. “What’s that? Oh, are we getting back up from other planets to help defeat the adults once and for all? Is that why the adults are here?”  
“Unfortunately, it’s quite the opposite of what’s going on,” said Numbuh 362.  
“Oh, and what do you think she means by that, Mr. Wink?” asked Mr. Fibb.  
“I think she doesn’t appreciate that we adults have agreed to help them in their time of need, Mr. Fibb,” said Mr. Wink.  
“No, that’s not it,” said Numbuh 362. “The Galactic Kids Next Door are an evil organisation that intend to wipe out everyone who isn’t a kid. And they’ll do it at any cost, including dooming an entire planet where kids are still able to live happily.”  
“That doesn’t sound so bad,” said Numbuh 20,000. “Get rid of the adults, let the kids live happily ever after. I don’t see why the adults need to know about this.”  
“Really?” asked Numbuh 362, bringing up a document on a projector. “Because according to this, the attack we deflected this morning will kill everyone over thirteen, and when someone turns thirteen, they die.”  
Silence filled the room. “You’re kidding, right?” asked Mr. Boss. “Wouldn’t that eventually wipe out the entire planet, including the children they so desperately want to protect?”  
“From what we can tell, the Galactic Kids Next Door don’t care how many children die,” said Numbuh 362. “They just want to eradicate adult kind. While that laser from earlier wouldn’t have affected us kids immediately, some of us would only be given another year or two to live. And so, we need to go out there and stop them before they fire at us again.”  
“Too late,” said Numbuh 2, watching the radar system. “We just got an incoming attack coming from deep space.”  
“QUICK! Get the M.I.R.R.O.R. in place,” ordered Numbuh 362, running offstage. “We need to deflect…” Before she could finish, a flash of red zoomed past the Moon Base, hitting the Earth. “…no…”  
Silence reigned in the Moon Base again for almost a minute. “Is…is that it?” asked Maurice. “Did it work? Did they just…you know…”  
“I’m going to call someone,” said Numbuh 2. “Numbuh 0’s still down there. Maybe he’s okay?”  
“I don’t know,” said Numbuh 362. “Last time we saw him, he was fighting Father with Numbuh 999. Even if they got out of that okay, there’s still a very slim chance that they got off the planet in time. Not unless they knew the thing was coming, and we didn’t even know about it until just now.”  
“I don’t care, I’m calling them anyway,” said Numbuh 2, furiously tapping away into the computer. “Calling Numbuh 0. Come in Numbuh 0.” The only sound was static from the machine. “I repeat, come in Numbuh 0.” Many of the kids, and some of the adults, began staring at Numbuh 2 sympathetically. “Numbuh 999. If either of you are listening, please respond now.” Nothing. Numbuh 2 let the static hiss through the room for another twenty seconds before shutting off the machine. “They did it. They actually did it.”  
“So…what now?” asked the Cat Lady. “We can’t go back to Earth, or else we’ll die.”  
“This bites,” said Tommy. “All my stuff is back there. Now if I try to go back, I’ll die in six years.”  
“Does that mean they won?” asked the Common Cold.  
“Why are all of you acting like this is the end?” snapped Numbuh 4. “Sure, they just ruined our planet. So what? We’ll just find a new planet. A better planet. But first, we need to show them that Earth isn’t a pushover. I say, we go out there and kick some alien butt. Who’s with me?”  
“We’re not really going to take orders from Numbuh 4, are we?” asked Mr. Boss, as Numbuh 3 jumped on him.  
“Hey, at least Wally’s trying to be positive and do something,” she growled. “Now, me and Numbuh 4 are going out there to help Numbuh 5. Are any of you coming with us, or should we assume everyone else in this room is a coward?”  
“Yarr, how dare ye call me and me crew yellerbellied,” said Stickybeard.  
“Yeah, we ain’t no chickens,” said Professor XXXL, covered in feathers and sporting a comb and wattle.  
“Well, anything the adults can do, we can do better,” said Numbuh 86, grabbing the microphone from the floor of the stage where Numbuh 362 left it. “Kids Next Door, gear up. We set off for battle in one hour.”  
“Adults, same thing,” announced Mr. Boss. “Unless you want the kids to prove themselves better than you.”  
“NOO!” came the unified yell of every kid and adult present, followed by a flurry of movement as everyone prepared for the fight of their lives.


	9. Breakout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Numbuh 5 is about to be decommissioned. Is there anyone around that can save her?

“Is it ready to fire?” asked Numbuh Gajillion.  
“It’s ready,” said Numbuh Ordinal.  
“Excellent,” said Numbuh Gajillion. “Nigel, since the first blast was deflected because of Numbuh Vine’s betrayal, how about you do it again?”  
“And you’re sure it missed the first time?” asked Numbuh 1.  
“We’re pretty sure,” said Numbuh Gajillion. “But it won’t hurt to do it again, just to make sure.”  
Numbuh 1 sighed. “I guess I don’t have a choice,” he said, his finger moving towards the button. As his skin made contact with the button, the door to the room burst open, revealing Numbuh 9L.  
“Nigel, what are you doing?” asked Numbuh 9L.  
“The previous attack failed, Numbuh 9L,” said Numbuh 1, not moving his finger. “I have to do this again, and wipe out the adult threat on Earth once and for all.”  
“I see…” said Numbuh 9L. “And you’re okay with the weight of what you’re doing?”  
“What are you doing Numbuh 9L?” demanded Numbuh Gajillion. “Okay with it or not, it’s the right thing to do. Unless you want to be branded a traitor too, I suggest you stop distracting Numbuh 1 and let him do what he was destined to do.”  
“Yes, what I was destined to do,” said Numbuh 1. “And that’s to stop unfair tyrannical ruling.”  
“Exactly,” said Numbuh Gajillion, rubbing his hands together in glee.  
“And that includes yours,” said Numbuh 1, removing his finger from the button as he jumped at Numbuh Gajillion and kicked him in the chin.  
“WHAT?! What is this?” snapped Numbuh Gajillion, rubbing the spot Numbuh 1 had kicked him. “Numbuh Ordinal, Numbuh Umpteen, get him.”  
“Not so fast,” said Numbuh 9L leaping over Numbuh 1 to shield him from the two attacking operatives. “Nigel, get out of here.”  
“Numbuh 1 isn’t going anywhere until he presses that button,” said Numbuh Gajillion, grabbing Numbuh 1’s hand. “Because if he doesn’t, I will. Numbuh 1, listen: I’m the good guy here. Once we dispose of all the adults in the universe, kids will rule everything. No school, no homework, no bed time, no brushing your teeth, ice cream and pizza for every meal, it will be an absolute utopia. You’re an excellent operative Numbuh 1. Stop this now, and I’ll forget any of this ever happened.”  
“Don’t do it Nigel,” said Numbuh 9L, kicking Numbuh Ordinal into a wall. “We can’t lose another planet because of Numbuh Gajillion.”  
“Every planet we’ve lost has been too far gone to be worth saving,” said Numbuh Gajillion. “It’s regrettable, I know, but if there were another way to do this, I would.”  
“You’re wrong,” said Numbuh 1, yanking his hand away. “There must be another way. I refuse to accept that there isn’t another way. And I refuse to be a part of an organisation that sacrifices the kids it claims to help.”  
Numbuh Gajillion stared at him calmly for a moment, before sighing in defeat. “I knew there was a reason we never had an Earth operative before you. You’re weak. You let your emotions control what you do. It’s pathetic, and it’s why your species shouldn’t be allowed to keep going.” Before anyone could react, Numbuh Gajillion turned around and hit the button.  
“NO!” cried Numbuh 1, but it was too late. Numbuh 1 heard the weapon powering up, before discharging towards Earth. Numbuh 1 glared up at Numbuh Gajillion. “You are going to regret that.”  
“Oh, am I?” asked Numbuh Gajillion sarcastically. “Oh no, the two of you against the three of us? However will be manage?”  
“There won’t be two for long,” said Numbuh 1. “Numbuh 9L, come on.” Numbuh 9L threw Numbuh Umpteen across the room, knocking over Numbuh Gajillion. As Numbuh 9L ran out of the room, Numbuh 1 locked it from the outside. “Come on, we have some friends to save.”  
“There’s still only six of us though,” said Numbuh 9L.  
“Not for long,” said Numbuh 1. “If the guys back on Earth think Numbuh 5’s in danger, they’ll be here soon with all the backup we’ll need. Now, let’s get moving, before it’s too late.”

“Please Abby, stop struggling,” said Numbuh 71.562. “Just face your decommissioning with some dignity. Your friends would understand if you gave up in this situation.”  
“No they wouldn’t,” snarled Numbuh 5, pulling against the straps that held her down. “They know I wouldn’t stop fighting until the bitter end, and that’s what I intend to do.”  
“How admirable,” said Numbuh 71.562. “But really, what are you going to do if you get free?”  
“Well, first thing will be to beat the snot out of you,” said Numbuh 5. “Then I’m going to slap some sense into Numbuh 1 for letting us get captured. Then, finally, I’m going to stop you from destroying Earth.”  
“Oh, you’re far too late for that last one,” said Numbuh 71.562. “By now, Numbuh Gajillion would have convinced your precious Numbuh 1 to attack the Earth again. But don’t worry, you’ll be back on your doomed planet soon enough.”  
“I refuse to believe that,” said Numbuh 5. “The Nigel Uno I know would never…”  
“The Nigel Uno you knew is gone,” said Numbuh 71.562. “Now hush up and let the machine do its work.” Numbuh 71.562 flipped some switches on his machine, which caused a hatch to open. A plunger came out of the slot, and slowly made its way towards Numbuh 5’s face. “So long, Abigail Lincoln.”  
Numbuh 5 pulled as hard as she could, but her restraints were too strong. She squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for the moment the decommissioning would start…

…and that’s when the door was kicked off its hinges. “Numbuh 9L, stop the machine, 71.562’s mine,” came Numbuh 1’s voice.  
Numbuh 5’s eyes shot open. “NIGEL!” she yelled, then saw how close the plunger was. “HURRY!”  
“Let’s see here,” said Numbuh 9L, looking at the control panel. “I’m gonna try…this one.” And with one swipe of her massive claw, the plunger was smacked away from Numbuh 5’s face. Numbuh 9L then proceeded to keep smashing the machine, before helping Numbuh 5 out of her restraints.  
“Err, thanks,” said Numbuh 5, holding out her hand. Numbuh 9L looked at it, confused, then gave it a quick lick before jumping across the room to help Numbuh 1. “Not what I was thinking, but whatever.” Numbuh 5 looked across the room to see Numbuh 9K sitting on Numbuh 71.562, with Numbuh 1 leaning down right in his face.  
“Listen, I don’t want to hurt you,” said Numbuh 1. “I’m not like you. I don’t want to harm other kids. But, if that’s what it takes to save the lives of an entire planet, I won’t have any problem with it. Now, first thing’s first: where are Chad, Cree, and Lizzie?”  
“You’ll never make me talk,” said Numbuh 71.562. Numbuh 1 raised his fist as though to strike him. “Okay, okay, I’ll talk. They’re in the prison cell next door.”  
“Excellent,” said Numbuh 1. “Give Numbuh 5 the keys, and she’ll release them.”  
“Excuse me?” snapped Numbuh 5. “You just willingly handed us over, and expect me to just take orders from you like that?”  
“Numbuh 5, you are deep in enemy territory, and backup is still a long way from here,” said Numbuh 1. “Any order I give you is for our own good, especially since Numbuh Gajillion wants me gone too.”  
“You betrayed him?” asked Numbuh 5. “So does that mean you didn’t fire that laser?”  
“Abby, I…” started Numbuh 1. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t stop him. I wanted to, I tried, but in the end…”  
“No…” gasped Numbuh 5, horrified. She hung her head low, trying to hide the tears coming from her eyes. When she finally raised her head again, her face was burning with rage. “YOU’RE ALL GONNA PAY FOR THAT!” Numbuh 5 lunged at Numbuh 71.562, but was blocked by Numbuh 1. “LET ME GO NIGEL! I’M GOING TO…”  
“Abby, stop,” said Numbuh 1, surprisingly calm about the situation.  
“How can you…” started Numbuh 5, before being hushed by Numbuh 1.  
“There’s nothing we can do about it now,” said Numbuh 1. “If we’re lucky, we might be able to find a way to save Earth, or at least find a new planet for kids later. But for now, we can’t do anything if Numbuh Gajillion is trying to eliminate us, so we need to get ready to fight back until the others get here.”  
Numbuh 5 wiped away a tear. He was right, as frustrating as it was to admit. Not trusting herself to speak, she nodded in agreement, before heading out the door to free the others.  
“Numbuh 9L, bring our prisoner with us,” said Numbuh 1. “Can’t have him getting any ideas now, can we?”  
“You can’t just leave me here,” said Numbuh 71.562. “Numbuh Gajillion will be furious if I don’t stop you.”  
“If all goes well, you won’t have to face his wrath,” said Numbuh 1, as Numbuh 9L picked up the scientist in her mouth. The two of them walked out of the room to see Numbuh 5 releasing the prisoners.  
“It’s about time you got here Nigey,” snapped Lizzie. “You know, it’s not nice to keep a lady waiting.”  
“Zip it Lizzie, we have bigger problems,” said Chad. “Like if you’re here, that means…”  
“We’re all fugitives now,” finished Numbuh 1. “But with any luck, the Earthen Kids Next Door are on their way to back us up.”  
“And if they’re not?” asked Cree.  
“Then we take down as many of these guys as we have to in order to stop Numbuh Gajillion,” said Numbuh 1. “Now, Kids Next Door, BATTLE STATIONS!”


	10. Here Goes Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Earth Kids Next Door have arrived at the Galactic Kids Next Door base, and are preparing to invade.

“Thar she blows,” said Stickybeard over the radio. “Ye better have a plan girlie.”  
“And that plan better not be hit them until they stop moving,” said Mr. Boss. “Because we were already planning on that.”  
“As it so happens, there’s a very crucial step before we get to the hitting them part,” said Numbuh 362. “According to the documents Numbuh Vine sent us, they have shields and sensors we’ll have to get rid of before we even think of getting on board their ship.”  
“And if we don’t?” asked the Cat Lady.  
“Then we go kablooie,” said Numbuh 362. “Numbuh 2, you’ve been studying the blueprints of their weapons since we left. What have you got for us?”  
“These weapons are extremely advanced,” said Numbuh 2. “Far beyond anything I’ve ever seen on Earth.”  
“What? You mean you can’t find a weakness in them?” asked Numbuh 362.  
“I never said that,” said Numbuh 2. “In fact, they have one crucial weakness that can be easily exploited. Their sensors are linked directly to their weapons, which can take up to a minute to charge an attack.”  
“That seems like an awfully long time for an attack to charge,” said Nightbrace. “What if you make it to the base by then?”  
“Not a chance,” said Numbuh 2. “The sensors can pick things up from far enough away that it’ll take at least two minutes from the time you are discovered to the time to reach the base. And that’s if you go in a straight line, which you won’t, because there will be at least a dozen lasers firing at you from different angles at different times to keep you from getting anywhere fast. And in that time, they’ll have people manning the big guns and boarding their ships.”  
“None of this sounds like a critical weakness,” said Mr. Boss.  
“I already mentioned the weakness,” said Numbuh 2. “The sensors. Their weapons will only charge if they detect a threat. We take them out, we go through unharmed. Even if they detect us first, the weapons will start cooling off as soon as they’re out of commission.”  
“Right then, we need to destroy the sensors, gotcha,” said Mr. Boss.  
“NO!” yelled Numbuh 2. “If we do that, it’ll send a message to their security team, and they’ll come looking. All we need to do is cover the sensors with something. Something that will stick to the sensors until we’re through.”  
“Sticky, eh?” said Mr. Boss. “Stickybeard, sounds like a job for you.”  
“Yarr, ye leave it to me,” said Stickybeard. “Though I regret havin’ tah use me good taffy.”  
“We’re trusting an adult to this?” demanded Numbuh 86. “Are you mad?”  
“Yes, we’re trusting an adult to this,” said Numbuh 362. “Not because we want to, but because we have to.”  
“We don’t have to take this,” said Numbuh 60. “I’ll go there myself and…”  
“Do what, exactly?” asked Numbuh 362. “You heard Numbuh 2. Destroying those things will set off an alarm at their base, bringing their forces. We want to avoid as much conflict as possible until we’re in their base. Unless you think you can stop them sensing us?”  
Numbuh 60 sighed in frustration, knowing she was right, but hating it at the same time. “Can’t believe we have to rely on adults being on our side,” he muttered to himself, as Stickybeard’s ship began firing at the sensors.

“What’s going on out there?” demanded Numbuh Gajillion. “I keep getting alerts about the security lasers getting ready to fire, then shutting down again.”  
“Perfectly normal sir,” said Numbuh Umpteen. “Remember, the sensors pick up everything, including space rocks and garbage. If a meteor shower is passing through, the sensors are likely to be working overtime. We should be fine within an hour or so.”  
“And you know for a fact that it’s a meteor shower?” asked Numbuh Gajillion.  
“Well…no,” said Numbuh Umpteen. “But it’s the most likely…”  
“Let’s have a look, shall we?” said Numbuh Gajillion, logging onto the security feed from one of the sensor’s camera. “It’s very pink out there, isn’t it?”  
“Perhaps it’s busted?” suggested Numbuh Umpteen.  
“Think for a minute,” said Numbuh Gajillion. “If it’s busted, wouldn’t the feed be black, not pink?”  
“Errr…” began Numbuh Umpteen.  
“And wouldn’t a busted camera mean we should be out there fixing it anyway?” suggested Numbuh Gajillion.  
“I mean, maybe?” said Numbuh Umpteen.  
“Well, get going then,” said Numbuh Gajillion. “And take a security force with you.”  
“Why? It’s just a busted camera,” said Numbuh Umpteen.  
“I’ve got a gut feeling that it’s more than that,” said Numbuh Gajillion, leaving him.

Alarms began ringing through the halls. “What’s that?” asked Numbuh 5.  
“I’d say that the cavalry has arrived,” said Numbuh 1. “Though I can’t be sure if they’re inside the base, or they’ve just been spotted.”  
“Well then, let’s find out,” said Chad. “They’ll be coming from this side.” Chad led the group down a corridor. On their way, they passed a group of operatives, but they were so pre-occupied with the incoming attack that they didn’t even notice them.  
“Are there a lot of Earthen operatives?” asked Numbuh 9L.  
“About five thousand at last count,” said Numbuh 5. “If even most of that were to come here…”  
“Then you’d be outnumbered,” said Lizzie. “The GKND have close to two million operatives.”  
“But not all of them are here,” said Chad. “I’d say about five hundred thousand are on assignment on other planets to see if there are any potential new recruits.”  
“That still means they’ve got three hundred times as many kids as us,” said Cree. “So, unless there’s a great equaliser somewhere that’ll balance things…”  
“Hold on, we’re here,” said Chad, stepping up to a window to see what was happening. “Wait, is that…Stickybeard’s ship? How did they get…they didn’t, did they?”  
“I think they did,” said Numbuh 5. “They brought the adults.”  
Numbuh 9L hissed furiously. “Your people dare bring adults to our base?” she growled.  
“Hey kitty, not sure if you noticed, but we’re a little short on numbers right now,” said Cree. “We’ll take what we can get, adult, kid, or otherwise.”  
“I’m afraid she’s right, Numbuh 9L,” said Numbuh 1. “We’ll need them. But first, they need to make it into the base. Otherwise they’re no help to anyone.”  
“And how do you suppose we do that?” asked Cree.  
“We need to cause a distraction,” said Numbuh 1. “Numbuh 9L, take Abby and Cree to the hangers and cause as much chaos as possible.”  
“Can do,” said Numbuh 9L.  
“But no killing,” said Numbuh 1. “We’re not Numbuh Gajillion. Take the operatives out any way you can without hurting them.”  
“No promises,” said Cree, following the large cat down a hallway.  
“What about us?” asked Lizzie.  
“Chad, how close is the nearest weapons control room?” asked Numbuh 1.  
“This is crazy. There’s no way any of this is going to work,” said Chad.  
“Crazy’s all we’ve got,” said Numbuh 1. “We’re doomed if we do nothing, so we might as well take as many of the enemy down as possible. Now, let’s move.”


	11. Earth vs. GKND, Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the first part of the epic showdown between the people of Earth and the Galactic Kids Next Door.

“Okay guys, we’re about to engage with the enemy,” said Numbuh 362. “Take them all down until we get to Numbuh Gajillion. After that, we’ll see if we can make him fix Earth.”  
“And if he can’t?” asked Numbuh 83.  
“Then we find a new planet,” said Numbuh 362. “One where adults aren’t allowed to go. Where kids will rule forever.”  
“Sounds like a paradise,” said Numbuh 84, before being distracted by a beeping on the console. “We’ve got company.”  
“KIDS NEXT DOOR, BATTLE STATIONS!” yelled Numbuh 362.  
“Umm, I’m not actually in the Kids Next Door,” said Tommy. “Do I still have to…”  
“Yes Tommy, you need to go to your battle station,” said Numbuh 362, before turning her attention to Numbuh 2. “Have you found a weakness for Numbuh Gajillion yet?”  
“Yes and no,” said Numbuh 2. “I’ve found the files about him on their database, but they’re all scrambled. And not in a way that prevents outside hackers from seeing the information. This appears to be so no-one inside the organisation can see it.”  
“What do you mean?” asked Numbuh 362.  
“It’s like he’s trying to hide something from the others,” said Numbuh 2. “It could be that he’s trying to hide his secret from everyone so that no-one knows his weakness, which would make him much harder to defeat, but if my theory pans out…”  
“What theory?” asked Numbuh 362, but before she could get a response, the ship rocked violently. “Tell me later, just figure it while we get us into the base.”  
Numbuh 2, so absorbed in his work, didn’t even hear her talking to him.

“We need to get more ships out there,” said Numbuh Gajillion. “We need to stop this assault on our base.”  
“Yes sir,” said Numbuh Umpteen, grabbing the microphone for the loudspeaker. “More people to launch ASAP.” Numbuh Umpteen put down the microphone, then addressed his leader. “Why are they retaliating in such a way? We saved their planet from adult tyranny. They should be thanking us.”  
“They just don’t understand respect,” said Numbuh Gajillion. “We’re going to have to show it to them. By force.”  
“Numbuh Gajillion, sir,” said Numbuh Ordinal from his post. “We’re getting reports that they have adults with them.”  
“WHAT?!” yelled Numbuh Gajillion. “We try to rid them of those horrid beasts, and they have the nerve to bring them to our base? That’s it, all ships out there NOW!”  
Numbuh Umpteen was about to make the announcement, when he saw something outside that stopped him in his tracks. “Why is the hangar door closing?”  
“What are you talking about? None of us ordered that, we’d have heard it,” said Numbuh Gajillion. “Unless…NIGEL UNO!”  
“Sir, we’re having a hard time trying to unlock the doors,” said Numbuh Ordinal. “I’m putting in the command to open them, but nothing’s working.”  
“Keep at it,” said Numbuh Gajillion, getting up from his desk. “I have some business to take care of.”  
“Do you need any help sir?” asked Numbuh Umpteen. “We can…”  
“No,” ordered Numbuh Gajillion. “I need you two here to lead the war efforts while I get rid of one of our biggest threats. Like they say, if you want something done right, you need to do it yourself.” Numbuh Gajillion spun around and marched out of the room, before storming down the hall, not noticing the figures hiding in the shadows…

“Numbuh Gajillion has left the War Room,” said Chad, looking at the video feed. “He is going to be pretty ticked off when he gets here.”  
“Which is why we’re leaving now,” said Numbuh 1, opening a ventilation shaft. “And we have to keep him going as far away from everything else as possible, at least until Numbuh 2 can find Numbuh Gajillion’s weakness.”  
“What makes you so sure he can?” asked Chad, following Numbuh 1 into the vents, keeping one eye on the screen. “In fact, he was part of the science division. How do you know he wasn’t loyal to the GKND himself?”  
“Because Hoagie’s my best friend,” said Numbuh 1. “He told me everything, and I did the same for him. There’s no way he’d keep a secret like that from me. And he will hack the GKND’s database, because he’s the best darn chance we’ve got. If he can’t, we all fail.”  
“…we’re gonna die,” muttered Chad, watching the screen.

“YARR, they be closing their ports,” said Stickybeard. “What be our plan of attack now?”  
“If they won’t give us a way in, I guess we’ll have to make one,” said Numbuh 362. “Numbuh 84, full speed ahead at their hangar doors.”  
“What? Are you crazy?” asked Numbuh 84. “That could heavily damage our ship, you know.”  
“I’m aware,” said Numbuh 362.  
“…Cool,” said Numbuh 84, grabbing the wheel and slamming his foot on the accelerator.  
“What do we do when we crash through the doors?” asked Numbuh 83, buckling into her chair.  
“Go out there guns blazing, taking down as many of them as possible, show no mercy,” said Numbuh 362. “Numbuh 2, how are you going over there?” Numbuh 2 gave no response. “Numbuh 2?” asked Numbuh 362, looking over at him. Numbuh 2 was furiously tapping away at his computer, completely absorbed in his work. “Okay, guess we won’t be getting anything out of him any time soon. Numbuh 3, are you ready to launch?”  
“You just leave them to me and Hippie-Hop,” said Numbuh 3, patting the control panel of her robot.  
“Okay then,” said Numbuh 362. “Numbuh 4, launch the rabbit.”  
“I still don’t get why I can’t be at the front of the attack,” said Numbuh 4. “I’ll take all of them Galactic dweebs down and make this whole thing easier for us.”  
“I told you Numbuh 4,” said Numbuh 362. “By sending in Numbuh 3 with Hippie-Hop first, we can cause as much chaos as possible, then it’ll be much easier to beat the bad guys. You can beat up as many Galactic dweebs as you like.”  
“Oh, okay,” said Numbuh 4. “Launching the rabbit.” He pressed a big red button on the control panel in front of him, before relaxing back into his chair.  
“You were just telling him that to shut him up, weren’t you?” asked Numbuh 83 in a whisper.  
“Of course,” said Numbuh 362. “I’ve been his commanding officer for six months. I know what he’s like, and how to shut him up.” Numbuh 83 smiled and nodded at the response, before turning to watch Hippie-Hop crash through the gates of the GKND headquarters.

“It’s no use,” came a voice on the radio. “We’ve even tried manually lifting the gate, but it’s shut tight.”  
“Well, you have to do something,” said Numbuh Ordinal. “It’s not like something’s just going to crash through the door and give us a perfectly good…” Before he could finish his sentence, there was a loud crash, and suddenly the radio was full of people screaming. “Numbuh Π, what’s going on down there?”  
“WE’RE UNDER ATTACK!” yelled Numbuh Π, the sounds of battle in the background. “Some kind of horrible Earth beast robot.”  
“What type of beast? Do we know its weaknesses?” asked Numbuh Umpteen.  
“I have no idea,” said Numbuh Π. “But if they built a robot of it, it must be something absolutely ferocious.” Before he could say anymore, Hippie-Hop landed right behind him, and suddenly the signal went dead.  
“Well…” started Numbuh Ordinal. “What now?”  
“What now is you go down there and shut off that hangar from the rest of the ship,” said Numbuh Umpteen. “Meanwhile, I’m going to have our laser team double their efforts.”  
“Control room, this is the laser room,” said a voice over the radio. “We’ve just been shut down, and we’re not sure from where.”  
Numbuh Umpteen growled in frustration. “Must we do everything ourselves?” he sighed in defeat, leaving the room. As he could get very far though, there was a loud cry, then suddenly Numbuh 5 had landed on his back. “What the heck is this?”  
“This is us taking you down, once and for all,” said Numbuh 5, struggling to hold his arms down.  
“Do you really think you can hold me down?” snapped Numbuh Umpteen, slowly overpowering her.  
“Not by herself,” said Cree, coming up behind him. “But together we can.” Cree brought both her hands down on the back of Numbuh Umpteen’s head, before kicking him across the hall, back into the room he just came out from.  
“Numbuh Umpteen? What’s going on?” demanded Numbuh Ordinal, coming out to the hall to check things out for himself. “You two?” Numbuh 5 and Cree nodded to each other, and punched Numbuh Ordinal in the face together. Numbuh Ordinal stumbled backwards, landing on top of Numbuh Umpteen, the two sisters following him in. “No please, not the face.”  
“How about no?” suggested Cree, punching him again.  
“Alright, and…gone,” said Numbuh 5, unplugging the control panel.  
“So what? We can just plug it back in,” said Numbuh Umpteen.  
“I know,” said Numbuh 5. “That’s why I’m also doing this.” Numbuh 5 placed the plug to the control room on the ground, then stamped on it as hard as she could, smashing it into pieces.  
“Oh, you little brat,” snapped Numbuh Ordinal. “I’m going to…”  
“Do what exactly?” asked Cree, punching her fist into her hand threateningly. Numbuh Ordinal backed down. “Now, me and my sister are going to leave this room to go help our friends, and you two are going to stay here and do nothing.”  
“And how do you intend to make us?” asked Numbuh Umpteen.  
“Like this,” said Numbuh 5, hitting him with a chair.  
“…That’s a pretty effective way,” said Numbuh Ordinal, as Cree hit him with one.  
“Well, that was easy,” said Numbuh 5. “Come on, we have a base to conquer.” Numbuh 5 ran out the door and down the hall.  
“This doesn’t make us friends,” Cree called after her before following her sister to the battle.

“That’s Hippie-Hop,” said Numbuh 1. “So, Numbuh 3 must be here. She’d never let anyone else pilot him.”  
“I think there’s a lot more here than just Numbuh 3,” said Chad, as several Kids Next Door ships crashed through the walls of the GKND base. “I think they’ve got everyone here.”  
“Good, then let’s get into position to greet them,” said Numbuh 1. “Hopefully Numbuhs Vine and 9L won’t scare them off too much.”  
“Are you sure Numbuh Vine should have been in her normal form?” asked Chad. “I mean, most of them know her from her human form.”  
“She sent them the warning in her plant form,” said Numbuh 1. “They’ll know who she is.”  
“If you say so,” said Chad, following Numbuh 1 through the vents.

“Area appears to be clear,” reported Mr. Boss. “Get those alien kids into lock-up.”  
“Heh, bunch of wimps, those guys,” said Numbuh 4. “It’s like they haven’t been attacked by the giant robot rabbit before.”  
“Don’t celebrate yet,” said Numbuh 362. “We still haven’t found the big boss yet. And Numbuh 2 didn’t even leave his console for the fight, so this guy’s weakness must be extra hard to figure out.”  
“Bah, leave it to me,” said Numbuh 4. “When in doubt, punch its lights out.”  
“Numbuh 362, something’s coming,” said Numbuh 84. “And it’s big.”  
“Brace yourselves guys, this could be Numbuh Gajillion,” said Numbuh 362, aiming her gun at the door. Others prepared themselves too, as something large came bounding towards the hangar. “Ready…” Each member of the Kids Next Door had a gumball gun ready, and many of the adults were preparing to fire their own weapons. “Aim…” All of them pointed their weapons at the approaching target. “FIR…”  
“WAIT!” yelled someone, and suddenly a creature that seemed to be mostly plant jumped between the approaching monster and the Earthen forces. “We’re friendly. Numbuh 1 sent us.”  
“Numbuh Vine?” asked Numbuh 362, holding out her hand. “Nice to meet you, I’m…”  
“Numbuh 362, yes I know,” said Numbuh Vine, not taking the offered hand and seemingly angry with her.  
“Oh…okay,” said Numbuh 362, withdrawing her hand. “Have we met, or…”  
“HI LIZZIE!” yelled Numbuh 3, running up to her and giving her a hug.  
“Lizzie?” asked Numbuh 362. “As in Lizzie Devine, Numbuh 1’s ex-girlfriend?”  
In response, Numbuh Vine started contracting in on herself, until her body was in a familiar shape. “Yes, Lizzie Devine,” she said, as her human disguise began hiding her true form. “Now come on, we have a whole ship to take down, and hardly enough manpower to do it.”  
“Hold on,” said the Cat Lady. “First, tell us who your friend is.”  
“Oh, that’s Numbuh 9L, Numbuh 1’s partner in the GKND,” said Numbuh Vine dismissively. “Anyway, we have more pressing matters to…”  
“What a pretty kitty,” said the Cat Lady, brushing her fur. “And you’ve got all these little toys for me…”  
“Don’t touch that,” said Numbuh 9L, swatting her hand away. “These toys are all dangerous weapons, which if handled irresponsibly, could lead to…”  
“Aww, the kitty loves her toys,” said the Cat Lady adoringly.  
“…can we please get back to the task at hand?” asked Numbuh 9L. “She’s kinda creeping me out.”  
“You’re not the only one,” said Numbuh 4. “One time she…”  
“Never mind that now,” said Lizzie, storming up to Numbuh 4. “Why did you put all of our information on the Internet?”  
“You told me to,” said Numbuh 4. “I remember your instructions quite clearly.”  
“Your instructions were to get those files to the higher-ups of the Kids Next Door,” said Numbuh Vine. “How is uploading them to the Internet doing that?”  
“They got them, didn’t they?” asked Numbuh 4.  
Numbuh Vine looked like she wanted to object, but stopped herself. “Whatever, you’re wrong, but whatever,” she sighed in defeat. “We have more pressing matters, like taking down Numbuh Gajillion.”

“Are you looking for me?” asked a voice from the entryway. Everyone looked up to see a dark, demonic figure, towering above all of them. “Numbuh Vine, I’m very disappointed in you, siding with these disgusting humans.”  
“These disgusting humans weren’t the ones that made me kill my home planet,” yelled Lizzie.  
“I told you, your planet was overrun with adults,” said Numbuh Gajillion. “There was nothing we could do for it.”  
“Yes there was,” said Lizzie. “We had the manpower, we could have beat them.”  
“Maybe we could have,” admitted Numbuh Gajillion. “But at what cost to us? Do you really want the deaths of your fellow operatives on your conscious?”  
“They would have been willing to fight and die for the cause,” said Lizzie. “You’re just too cowardly to fight anyone, you big…” Lizzie was cut off before she could finish by Numbuh Gajillion picking her up in one of his massive hands and throwing her through a nearby wall.  
“Do you still think I’m a coward, Numbuh Vine?” asked Numbuh Gajillion calmly, turning to face the other people preparing to face him. “And Numbuh 9L. I’m so disappointed you’re choosing Numbuh 1 and his cronies over me. After everything I’ve done for you.”  
“What you’ve done for me is make me kill my home planet,” snarled Numbuh 9L. “You don’t care for any of us. You only care about your own selfish goals.”  
“Why Numbuh 9L, how blinded you have become,” gasped Numbuh Gajillion. “I care very deeply about all the operatives in the organisation. And no-one gets into the organisation without sharing my very important goal of eradicating adults from the universe.”  
“You know, we have something to say about that,” said Mr. Boss, arms folded across his chest.  
“Ah, yes, the adults,” said Numbuh Gajillion, turning his attention to them. “You adults think you’re so high and mighty, while ignoring the kids who do all the chores you don’t want to do for you.”  
“Bah, kids don’t need to be seen or heard anyway,” said Nightbrace, earning himself glares from the Kids Next Door. “What? We adults are willing to help you beat these guys, but once we’ve fixed Earth it’s back to fighting each other.”  
“How adorable,” said Numbuh Gajillion. “You still think you can save your planet, but you can’t. Anyone still on your precious Earth will be dead when they hit age 13, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”  
“I refuse to believe that,” said Numbuh 362.  
“Believe what you want, it won’t change what’s true,” said Numbuh Gajillion. “Come kids, you can still join us. Defeat all these adults right now. What have they done for you anyway? Made you do homework, made you go to school, made you go to bed, made you brush your teeth, made you eat vegetables. And for what? Nothing. But if you side with me, it will be nothing but ice cream parties and staying up all night forever.”  
“I’ve heard enough,” said Numbuh 86. “He can’t take all of us at once. KIDS NEXT DOOR, CHARGE!” The kids and the adults all rushed forward at Numbuh Gajillion.  
Numbuh Gajillion just sighed and held out one hand. Suddenly, everyone stopped in their tracks. “Can’t take all of you, huh?” he smirked.


	12. Earth vs. GKND, Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Numbuh Gajillion has the Earthlings where he wants them. All he has to do is finish them once and for all...

“When are you pathetic Earthlings going to learn?” asked Numbuh Gajillion, casually walking through the petrified masses. “We won, you lost. There’s no reason to keep fighting. Just accept that your planet had been poisoned, and that we were the ones to cure it.”  
“Dooming it is not the same as curing it,” came as voice, and Numbuh Gajillion spun around in time to get kicked in the face by Numbuh 5. “NOW CREE!” Numbuh Gajillion looked around to see Cree throw a lasso over him, pinning his arms to his sides.  
As they did, the people of Earth came out of their trance. “Just in time Numbuh 5,” said Numbuh 362. “You couldn’t get here earlier?”  
“We needed to set something up,” said Numbuh 5. “Luckily you guys kept him distracted long enough for that.”  
“Glad to be of service,” said Numbuh 4. “So, where’s Numbuh 1?”  
“Dunno,” said Numbuh 5. “Haven’t seen him in…” Numbuh 5 stopped, because she heard Numbuh Gajillion start laughing behind her. “What do you find so funny?”  
“The fact that you think you’ve won,” said Numbuh Gajillion, still giggling a little.  
“Well, duh we won,” said Numbuh 3. “Your weird power thing only works when your arms are free, right?”  
“Does it?” asked Numbuh Gajillion. Numbuh 3 looked like she was about to object, but stopped. In fact, she looked like she couldn’t even move.  
“Err, Numbuh 3?” asked Numbuh 4, waving his hand in front of her face. He then tried clicking his fingers right in front of her eyes, but still nothing happened. “What did you do?”  
“Exactly what I did before,” said Numbuh Gajillion. “It’s easier to focus my energy when I use my hands, but I by no means need them. All I need is a bit of concentration.”  
“Well, I guess we need to keep distracting you then,” said someone, and in the doorway stood two people that everyone was eager to see.

“NUMBUH 1!” yelled Numbuh 4.  
“NIGEL!” yelled Numbuh 362.  
“Kids Next Door. Spread out and open fire,” said Numbuh 1, moving off to one side, while Chad moved in the other direction.  
“That goes for you too, adults,” said Chad.  
“GAH! It’s bad enough that we’re being told what to do by bratty kids, but now greasy teens as well?” asked Mr. Boss.  
“Unfortunately, their plan makes sense,” said Mr. Wink. “Wouldn’t you agree, Mr. Fibb?”  
“I don’t even know who you are anymore Mr. Wink,” said Mr. Fibb, closing the roof to their robot before attacking Numbuh Gajillion.  
“You think spreading out will help you?” asked Numbuh Gajillion. “Watch and learn.” A group of Earthlings directly in front of him froze in place. “See? There’s nothing you can…” Before he could finish, he felt a bunch of gumballs hitting him in the back of the head. “Why you little…” Numbuh Gajillion froze his current attackers, only for an assault to come at him from the side. “You little…” started Numbuh Gajillion, but another attack came at him from his other side.  
Steadily, Numbuh Gajillion began to stumble under the weight of the current assault. “Guys, it’s working,” said Numbuh 4. “Just a little…”  
“ENOUGH!” screamed Numbuh Gajilion, jumping to his feet and wrenching his arms free of his ropes. “I will NOT be beaten by a bunch of half-witted humans.”  
“Good thing none of us are half-witted then,” said Knightbrace. “Except for Numbuh 4.”  
“HEY! I heard that,” said Numbuh 4.  
“In any case,” said Numbuh 1. “Are you going to give up, or do we have to keep pummelling you?”  
“Give up?” asked Numbuh Gajillion, laughing at him. “Are you mad, child? You’re forgetting a very important fact.” As he spoke, a bunch of Galactic Kids Next Door operatives flooded into the hangar. “I still have an army to back me up. What do you have?”

“An even bigger army,” came an announcement from outside. Everyone turned to see a spaceship fly in through the doors. As it swung around, the hatch opened and someone jumped out and flew at Numbuh Gajillion, punching him in the face. “And I’d appreciate you not threatening my son.”  
“Da…dad?” asked Numbuh 1, staring up at his father in all his glory. “But…but how? I thought the second attack hit Earth, and you were…”  
“You didn’t think me and your mother weren’t expecting a second attack, did you?” asked Numbuh 0. “Honestly Nigel, we were two of the best operatives the Kids Next Door ever had. We know how to prepare for everything.”  
“But who’s ship is that?” asked Numbuh 362. “That doesn’t look like one of ours.”  
“That’s because it’s one of mine,” came a nasty sounding voice. Everyone stared in horror as out from the ship stepped…  
“FATHER!” yelled Numbuh 1. “Dad, why would you…”  
“We didn’t have a lot of time,” said Numbuh 0. “We were fighting with Benny…”  
“Please don’t call me that,” said Father.  
“…but then we realised that there’d be another attack soon. We only just managed to explain to Benny when our personal warning systems discovered the laser coming right this way. Then, we were so busy getting off the planet that I missed a call from Numbuh 2, and even when I checked the answering machine it was all garbled...”  
“Busy doing what?” demanded Numbuh 86. “There’s only three of you.”  
“What do you mean, only three?” asked Numbuh 0, as everyone got a good look inside the ship. “We do know how to evacuate a planet, you know.”  
“Holy moly,” said Numbuh 4, as hundreds, maybe thousands of people streamed out of the ship, charging at Numbuh Gajillion’s followers.  
“You may have numbers,” said Numbuh Gajillion. “But we have experience. How many of your precious people have ever been in a fight?”  
“The question is: how many have yours?” asked Numbuh 1. “You refuse to consider violence as a viable means to get what you want, instead attacking from afar. Look.” Numbuh 1 pointed over at a group of Numbuh Gajillion’s operatives being easily overpowered by Numbuh 83, despite her small size.  
“BAH! Savages,” said Numbuh Gajillion. “How about we settle this, leader to leader?”  
“I thought you’d never ask,” said Numbuh 1, running at Numbuh Gajillion.  
“NIGEL!” yelled Numbuh 362. “Numbuh 5, he’s gonna get himself killed.”  
“I’ll cover you,” said Numbuh 5. “Just get over there and help him.” Numbuh 5 turned her attention to the Galactic operatives around her, pushing as many of them back as possible. Numbuh 362 followed closely behind her. “There they are. Go,” said Numbuh 5 when they had a break in the fighting. As Numbuh 362 ran past her, a large arm wrapped itself around Numbuh 5’s neck, and began dragging her back into the melee.  
“NUMBUH 5!” yelled Numbuh 362.  
“Forget about me, worry about them,” said Numbuh 5, furiously punching the arm holding her, before she tried biting it. A loud yelp came from the Galactic operative, who then dropped her into the mass of fighting bodies.

Numbuh 362 gritted her teeth, and turned her attention to the task at hand. “Let’s go,” she said, taking a running leap onto Numbuh Gajillion’s back. She immediately began punching him as hard as she could.  
“What’s this?” snarled Numbuh Gajillion, grabbing the girl off his back. “What a rude child you are.” He flung her off of him, but Numbuh 362 managed to land on her feet.  
“Rachel, leave him to me,” said Numbuh 1.  
“No way,” said Numbuh 362. “There’s no way I’m losing you again.”  
“But…” started Numbuh 1.  
“No buts,” said Numbuh 362. “I may not be your leader, but you’ll do what I say.”  
“…Guess I can’t argue with that,” said Numbuh 1, running at Numbuh Gajillion again, Numbuh 362 at his side.  
“Fine, I can take two of you at the same time,” said Numbu Gajillion, preparing himself for both of their attacks. But, as Numbuh 362 was about to strike him, she ducked between his legs, coming up behind him and kicking him in the back. Numbuh Gajillion fell forward, only to get punched by Numbuh 1. “Darn it, hold still,” growled Numbuh Gajillion, trying to grab one of the two kids, but they kept ducking and weaving past him. By some kind of silent agreement, one of them would keep him distracted, while the other attacked.  
“Stop it,” he said, punching the floor where Numbuh 1 had just been. “Stop. It,” he said a little more forcefully, as Numbuh 362 evaded his massive hand. “I SAID, STOP IT!” he screamed, rising to his full height. As Numbuh 362 was about to attack him again, Numbuh Gajillion grabbed her and threw her against the far wall of the hangar.  
“RACHEL!” yelled Numbuh 1, starting towards her, only for Numbuh Gajillion to knock him back.  
“Don’t even think about it,” said Numbuh Gajillion, leaping towards the girl and snatching her up in a single hand. “Now, call off your friends, or I’ll crush her.”  
“You wouldn’t…” started Numbuh 4.  
“Wouldn’t I?” asked Numbuh Gajillion, squeezing a little tighter and getting a scream out of Numbuh 362. “Now, call them off.”  
“Don’t you dare Nigel,” said Numbuh 362 through gritted teeth. “It’s not worth it.”  
“Rachel…” said Numbuh 1. “Leave her alone. Take me instead.”  
“An interesting offer,” said Numbuh Gajillion. “But no, I think I’d rather keep this one as my bargaining chip.”  
“Please,” begged Numbuh 1. “Please, let her go. Do what you want to me, but leave her alone.”  
“Oh no,” said Father. “Not until I’m through with you Nigel Uno. I still haven’t forgiven you for stealing my pipe. And don’t even get me started on my Delightful Children, who I still haven’t found by the way.”  
“Surrender, Numbuh 1,” said Numbuh Gajillion. “Surrender, and I’ll let her go. Or let me crush her, I don’t care which.”  
“I…” started Numbuh 1.  
“DON’T YOU DARE, NIGEL!” yelled Numbuh 362.  
“I’m sorry Rachel,” said Numbuh 1. “But I’ve hurt too many people. I don’t want you to be hurt too. I surre…”

“GUYS, I CRACKED IT!” yelled someone. Everyone turned to one of the Kids Next Door’s ships, and saw Numbuh 2 holding a computer above his head. “Numbuh Gajillion’s big secret is that he’s…”  
“NOO!” screamed Numbuh Gajillion, diving at Numbuh 2. Before he could catch the boy though, something intercepted him and knocked him to the side.  
“Quick Numbuh 2, what were you going to say?” asked Numbuh 4, struggling against the enormous enemy.  
“Only that Numbuh Gajillion isn’t even a kid,” said Numbuh 2. “He’s thirteen.”  
“YOU LIE!” yelled Numbuh Gajillion. “I’m a kid, just like all of you. Why else would I want to end adult tyranny?”  
“You also doom kids to die when they turn thirteen,” said Numbuh 2. “You’ve been trying to hide that you’re growing up by eliminating everyone older than you.”  
“Is this true sir?” asked one of the Galactic Kids Next Door operatives.  
“Of course not,” snapped Numbuh Gajillion. “Do you really trust that pathetic Earthling over your own leader?”  
“…I mean, you did make me attack my own planet,” said the operative.  
“It was infected with the adult virus,” said Numbuh Gajillion. “I ended the threat.”  
“Hey, wait a minute,” said another operative. “I was told the same thing.”  
“So was I,” said yet another operative. “Does that mean your planet was infected with the adult virus too?”  
“Of course it was,” said Numbuh Gajillion. “And just like the rest of you, I wiped out the adult threat on it.”  
“Did you?” asked Numbuh 2, bringing up a video on the computer. “Because this livestream from the planet Proserpine says otherwise.” Everyone focused on the video, and saw kids playing, adults working, and the planet otherwise thriving.  
“This is fake, a forgery,” spat Numbuh Gajillion, though he was clearly starting to sweat.  
“But sir,” said one operative. “Those people in the video look like you. They’re all the same type of alien as you.”  
“I…” sputtered Numbuh Gajillion, struggling to keep his composure. “I am your leader.”

“You are a murderer,” said Numbuh 1, stepping up to him. “And we’re not going to take it anymore.”  
“Do you think I’m going to relinquish my power because you told me too?” demanded Numbuh Gajillion. “You’ll have to force me to.”  
“With pleasure,” said Numbuh 1. “Kids Next Door, BATTLE STATIONS!”  
“FIVE!” yelled Numbuh 5, kicking Numbuh Gajillion through a door into a room with a decommissioning machine.  
“FOUR!” yelled Numbuh 4, spinning Numbuh Gajillion around and then pushing him backwards towards the machine.  
“THREE!” yelled Numbuh 3, tripping Numbuh Gajillion over just before the machine so he landed in the seat perfectly.  
“TWO!” yelled Numbuh 2, strapping Numbuh Gajillion in nice and tight.  
“ONE!” yelled Numbuh 1, switching on the machine. “Goodbye, Numbuh Gajillion.”  
“NO!” shrieked Numbuh Gajillion. “You can’t do this. You can’t. I refuse. Please, stop…” Whatever else he was going to say was cut off, as the plunger placed itself over his face. There was silence around the room for a few minutes while Numbuh Gajillion struggled against the decommissioning, but eventually he stopped, relaxing into the chair, and soon it was over. “Whoa, what happened?”  
“You were in a terrible accident,” said Numbuh 1. “But now you’re all better, and we’ll be taking you home soon.”  
“Oh boy,” said Numbuh Gajillion. “I can’t wait to get home and see my mum and dad again.”  
“Yes, you will be with them soon,” said Numbuh 1, unstrapping him from the machine. “Will someone take him to go and get his stuff?”  
“Gladly,” said Numbuh 9L, guiding the former leader out of the hangar towards his quarters.

“So, we did it? We won?” asked Mr. Boss.  
“You might have,” said Father, flaming up. “But I still have a score to settle with Nigel Uno over here.”  
“Of course,” said Numbuh 1, seeming very unfazed by Father’s anger. “Please, take a seat and we’ll discuss it.”  
“Oh, why thank you,” said Father, taking the offered seat. “Hey, wait a minute…” But before he could get up, he was strapped in to the decommissioning machine and it had begun taking away his memories of the Kids Next Door.  
“Come on people, let’s go home,” said Numbuh 362.


	13. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Numbuh Gajillion defeated, the Earthen Kids Next Door decide to head home. But an important question arises: who will lead the Galactic Kids Next Door?

It was a few hours before the Earthen ships were repaired and ready to fly again, but the Galactic Kids Next Door helped the process along. As they did that, Numbuh 2 analysed the adult elimination ray, trying to figure out what made it work.  
“Let’s see…” said Numbuh 2. “AH-HA! That’s how he did it.”  
“What? What is it?” asked Numbuh 362.  
“Numbuh Gajillion never did anything to any of our planets,” said Numbuh 2. “Well, nothing that can’t be fixed at least.”  
“What are you talking about?” demanded Numbuh 9L. “I tried contacting my planet a few times after I was forced to shoot it, and I never got any response.”  
“Yeah, it’s hard to do that when your planet’s been hit with a signal blocker,” said Numbuh 2. “That’s why Numbuh 0 didn’t know I’d called until later. Yeah, he was busy, but he’d at least have called me back when he realised he’d missed a call. And by the time he knew about the call, everyone was heading here. Every call we tried to make to our home planets was blocked before it could get through.”  
“Why would he do that?” asked Numbuh 362.  
“My guess is to make us ruthless fighters,” said Numbuh 9L. “How many millions do you think we thought we’d killed? When you think you have that much blood on your hands, you stop feeling much emotion. It’ll just overwhelm you.” Numbuh 362 rested a reassuring hand on Numbuh 9L’s shoulder.  
“Numbuh 2, can you do anything to help those who thought they’d lost their planets?” asked Numbuh 362.  
“Of course,” said Numbuh 2, readjusting some wires. “Once I’m done with this baby, they’ll be able to contact all their home planets.”  
“Thank you,” said Numbuh 9L, saluting the chubby genius.  
“There’s still one thing that we need to figure out though,” said Numbuh Π. “Who will lead the Galactic Kids Next Door?” The room fell into a hush as the members of the Galactic Kids Next Door considered the question. No-one in the group seemed to be willing to step forward as a leader.

“I’ll do it,” said someone, and the group parted to reveal…  
“Numbuh 1?” asked Numbuh 5. “But…but you can’t…”  
“Abigail,” said Numbuh 1. “I have to. These guys have been oppressed by Numbuh Gajillion for years. They don’t know how to handle themselves. They need me. I will lead them against the reign of adult tyranny.”  
“You know we’re right here, dontcha?” snapped Mr. Boss.  
“Ah, shut up, pops,” said Numbuh 86, guiding him back to his ship.  
“I’m sorry Abby,” said Numbuh 1. “But I’m needed here more than on Earth.”  
“Well…” said Numbuh 5, wiping away a tear. “Just…don’t be a stranger, okay? Call in occasionally, ya hear?”  
“Of course,” said Numbuh 1, giving her a hug.  
“And hey, if you ever need help kicking some alien adult butt…” said Numbuh 4.  
“You’ll be the first one I call Wally,” said Numbuh 1, shaking his hand.  
“So, when will you be coming home Numbuh 1?” asked Numbuh 3.  
“I…I don’t think I will be Kuki,” said Numbuh 1. “There’s going to be a lot to do here, and…”  
“Oh, I know silly,” said Numbuh 3, giving him a hug. “But…you will come back one day, right?”  
“Of course I will Kuki,” said Numbuh 1.  
“Promise?” she asked.  
“Promise,” said Numbuh 1.  
“Yay,” cheered Numbuh 3, running past him towards one of the Kids Next Door’s ships. When she was sure no-one was watching, she dropped her happy charade and wiped away a tear, then boarded the ship.  
“So I guess this is goodbye again?” asked Numbuh 2.  
“Don’t think of it like that Hoagie,” said Numbuh 1. “This is more like see you later.”  
“Yeah, a lot later,” pouted Numbuh 2. “Just come back and visit sometime, okay?”  
“I will,” promised Numbuh 1, shaking his hand. “I promise I’ll be back one day.”  
“You better be,” said someone behind him. Numbuh 1 turned to find Numbuh 362 standing behind him. “Because if not…I’ll…I’ll…”  
“You’ll what, Rachel?” asked Numbuh 1.  
“I’ll…” started Numbuh 362 again, then sighed heavily. “Screw it.” Numbuh 362 grabbed Numbuh 1’s head and pulled him in for a kiss. “I won’t give you any more of those,” she said as they broke apart.  
“Oh…” said Numbuh 1, unsure how to react to that. “Um…thanks? Yeah, I’ll…yeah, okay, sure.”  
“Goodbye Nigel,” she said, heading into one of the ships as the doors were closing.  
“Heh heh, I knew it,” said Numbuh 5, as Numbuh 362 took a seat.  
“Quiet, you,” said Numbuh 362, punching Numbuh 5 in the arm, but giving her a friendly smile. “Take us home, Numbuh 2.”  
“But first, remember to drop him off,” said Numbuh 5, pointing at a confused and dazed looking Father at the back of the spaceship.  
“Are you sure you want to stay?” asked Numbuh 9L, standing with Numbuh 1 as he watched his friends leave.  
“I’m sure,” said Numbuh 1, wiping away a tear. “It wasn’t an easy decision, but it was the best decision.”  
Numbuh 9L grunted in agreement. “Well, whatever you decide to do, know that I’ll always be at your side. If you need help with anything, I’ll be right here.”  
“Thank you, Numbuh 9L,” said Numbuh 1, as the door to the hangar closed behind his friend’s ships.

It had been two weeks since the battle with the Galactic Kids Next Door, and things had gone back to normal. Adults tried to force kids into doing whatever they wanted, and the Kids Next Door retaliated. The only difference was that Father was no longer helping the adults. However, that day a group of kids appeared on Father’s doorstep, a group that hadn’t been seen in months…  
“Oh, hello,” said Father. “Are you from those delightful Kids Next Door? It’s so nice of them to check in on me from time to time after I got that nasty case of amnesia. Though, I must say, I haven’t seen you kids before.”  
“Oh, trust us, you have,” the kids said at the same time. “And it’s a Delight to see you again, Father.”  
“Father?” asked Father. “You must be mistaken. My name is Benny Uno, and I don’t have any kids.”  
“Oh, but you do,” said the Delightful Children from down the Lane, holding up a device of some kind. “And we’re going to make you remember, so you can help us find and defeat Nigel Uno once and for all, even if it takes us years.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And…done…What? You’re expecting a sequel after I ended it like that? No, sorry, not happening. The reason being that I’m trying to keep this (sort of) canon. And, going by the end of Operation: I. N. T. E. R. V. I. E. W. S., after Numbuh 1 leaves, Father doesn’t find him for years, so I feel like maybe Father should be out of commission for a while, possibly being reprogrammed by the Delightful Children until they can get him back to normal. So, no sequel.  
> Anyway, as for my next writing project: I’m going to be writing another novel. I haven’t finished editing the first one (in fact, I thought I’d lost a lot of it when my hard drive died on me. Luckily I had some old drafts for most of it), but if I have a few novels ready to go, I feel like I’m more likely to get published (especially since both of these novels are going to be so drastically different from each other). As soon as I finish it, I’m going back to the thing you want me to write: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Abridged. I want to start it before the end of the year, but at the moment it’s looking more like next year. Again, sorry for the delay, but I don’t like bringing out content I don’t like. In the meantime, I’ll still be bringing out Total Drama, so there’s that. Until next time guys…


End file.
